Have you ever wondered how some women or men seem to always get the "guy/gal"? And others of us who are hotter, smarter, cooler, etc. don't? I've been doing some research on this topic lately for a client and have stumbled onto some very interesting data and advice. And in doing so I've uncovered perhaps one of the most successful social media trends today.
It used to be advertisers relied on push communications - ads on TV, radio, magazines, newspapers, that require folks to go to the source to get the information. Today with everyone glued to their smart phones, tablets, laptops, it's easier than ever to talk with them, you simply have to be where they are. And oddly they don't seem to mind the interruption. The same audience that hates it when you interrupt their TV show with a commercial doesn't get the least bit upset when you interrupt their google search with a mobile video clip - as long as the message resonates with a need they have. So very targeted digital ads not only work, but are in high demand by consumers.
As a relationship blog writer I've been targeted with tons of relationship self-help messages. "How To Get A Guy To Notice You," "What to Say To Get The Ring," "What A Guy Really Wants," - you may have seen some of these. They lead in with a "personal" story about how this woman was about to get dumped and she stumbles onto a relationship coach quite by accident and they give her three questions to ask the guy which suddenly makes him want her and only her, for the rest of his life. It all seems to good to be true, the video's go on forever and when you get to the end you are being sold a monthly subscription to some online newsletter or audio podcast series that reveals all of the secrets to "getting the guy."
For kicks and giggles, I signed up. Wow. This stuff is gold! After reading and listening to three different manuals, I'm convinced that the girl who got MY guy definitely used these techniques. It can turn a commitment phobe, a player even, into a pussy cat who wants to settle down and get a dog with you (yeah, he got a damn puppy with this woman) and it apparently only takes 6 months. If he knew he had been tricked, do you think he'd mind? According to the podcasts, no he wouldn't because she revealed in him exactly what he always wanted - to be loved, desired, needed, and respected by his perfect dream girl. It's that easy folks! You just have to be everything he/she wants. In order to do that though you must understand the male/female brain thoroughly. We are very different from each other you understand so it does require research, a bit of physiology, and according to the research, we have to make sure we are very very happy, all of the time.
It's no wonder I have failed at relationships. Here I thought being myself, not playing games, being honest was what a guy wants. Nope. He wants you to pretend to be happy with everything he says and does, smile at him as if he is your GOD, make him feel needed in every way. At first this made my blood boil. It felt that the women's rights movement had never happened. Seemed like games and tricks to me. But the closer you analyze the data it really makes a ton of sense. A man wants to be with a woman that makes him feel like a man. And a woman wants to be with a man who makes her feel like a giddy school girl. Duh.
Problem is us women have been taught that in order to succeed in our careers we have to be more like men. We have to be independent. Self reliant. Too perky kills your career path. Too nice and you are walked all over. And too happy, well that's just weird. So we've become highly successful in our careers and have lost, big time, in relationships with men. The same guy that won't respect a woman in the work place who behaves like a "girl" won't date a woman who doesn't make him feel like a "man." Interesting. And not surprising when you think about it. Surrounded by aggressive women at work all day, not knowing how to interact without appearing sexist, patronizing, condescending, feeling insecure about their manhood because woman are their bosses, etc., the last thing a guy wants to deal with at a bar is the same situation. So when a demure woman, dressed in pink, showing a little cleavage, sits at the bar, no cell phone in sight (that's a big rule to follow ladies, keep your phones in your purses when you are trolling for guys) and smiles at him sweetly, well he melts. When she makes eye contact with him and listens, really listens to what he has to say, asks him questions and tells him she is curious and interested in what he does, well, it makes him feel good about himself and then he wants to spend more time with her so he continues to feel that way. It seems so simple.
I'm going to follow the advice of these podcasts and let you know what happens. I'm headed out to a happy hour this evening and I'm going to try a softer, more feminine approach. Smart phone tucked away, lipstick on, "girls" out, soft hair style, smile, happy happy, keep opinions to myself, and see what happens. I'll report back in on my progress. If it works, I'll share all of the secrets with you. If it doesn't, well, it will be like any other Friday night, lol.
I just can't believe my guy's woman got this trick before I did. She doesn't even like social media - oh, wait, that's probably part of the trick, huh? Pretending to not like social media so the guy is the man and can tell you all about it? Boy, I've got so much to learn...
Meanwhile, here's a recipe I got online, from a digital ad that interrupted my search for a good seafood restaurant. I not only allowed the ad to run, but copied it, tried it and am now sharing it with you. This digital advertising stuff really works...
Seared Tuna with Green Beans, Lemon, and Wasabi
4 sushi-grade tuna steaks (3 ounces each)
Salt and freshly ground pepper
nonstick cooking spray
12 ounces of slim green beans, trimmed
1 lean, juice and grated zest
1 clove of minced garlic
2 tablespoons wasabi paste
4 scallions sliced thin on the diagonal
3 tablespoons black sesame seeds
Bring a pot of salted water to a boil and preheat a grill or grill pan over high heat. Season the tuna with salt and pepper and scary them with cooking spray. When the gill is hot, add the tuna and for about 2 minutes per side (medium-rare). Transfer the tuna to a platter and allow to rest, uncovered for about 5 minutes. Cook the beans in the boiling water about 3 minutes and drain. In a medium bowl, whisk the lemon juice, zest, garlic and wasabi paste. Add the beans, scallions and sesame seeds and toss to coat, adding salt and pepper to taste. Thinly slice the tuna, fanning each portion onto each 4 plates. Pile a mound of the beans on top of the tuna and serve.
Each serving only has about 166 calories! Now, that's how to get a guy...
It used to be advertisers relied on push communications - ads on TV, radio, magazines, newspapers, that require folks to go to the source to get the information. Today with everyone glued to their smart phones, tablets, laptops, it's easier than ever to talk with them, you simply have to be where they are. And oddly they don't seem to mind the interruption. The same audience that hates it when you interrupt their TV show with a commercial doesn't get the least bit upset when you interrupt their google search with a mobile video clip - as long as the message resonates with a need they have. So very targeted digital ads not only work, but are in high demand by consumers.
As a relationship blog writer I've been targeted with tons of relationship self-help messages. "How To Get A Guy To Notice You," "What to Say To Get The Ring," "What A Guy Really Wants," - you may have seen some of these. They lead in with a "personal" story about how this woman was about to get dumped and she stumbles onto a relationship coach quite by accident and they give her three questions to ask the guy which suddenly makes him want her and only her, for the rest of his life. It all seems to good to be true, the video's go on forever and when you get to the end you are being sold a monthly subscription to some online newsletter or audio podcast series that reveals all of the secrets to "getting the guy."
For kicks and giggles, I signed up. Wow. This stuff is gold! After reading and listening to three different manuals, I'm convinced that the girl who got MY guy definitely used these techniques. It can turn a commitment phobe, a player even, into a pussy cat who wants to settle down and get a dog with you (yeah, he got a damn puppy with this woman) and it apparently only takes 6 months. If he knew he had been tricked, do you think he'd mind? According to the podcasts, no he wouldn't because she revealed in him exactly what he always wanted - to be loved, desired, needed, and respected by his perfect dream girl. It's that easy folks! You just have to be everything he/she wants. In order to do that though you must understand the male/female brain thoroughly. We are very different from each other you understand so it does require research, a bit of physiology, and according to the research, we have to make sure we are very very happy, all of the time.It's no wonder I have failed at relationships. Here I thought being myself, not playing games, being honest was what a guy wants. Nope. He wants you to pretend to be happy with everything he says and does, smile at him as if he is your GOD, make him feel needed in every way. At first this made my blood boil. It felt that the women's rights movement had never happened. Seemed like games and tricks to me. But the closer you analyze the data it really makes a ton of sense. A man wants to be with a woman that makes him feel like a man. And a woman wants to be with a man who makes her feel like a giddy school girl. Duh.
Problem is us women have been taught that in order to succeed in our careers we have to be more like men. We have to be independent. Self reliant. Too perky kills your career path. Too nice and you are walked all over. And too happy, well that's just weird. So we've become highly successful in our careers and have lost, big time, in relationships with men. The same guy that won't respect a woman in the work place who behaves like a "girl" won't date a woman who doesn't make him feel like a "man." Interesting. And not surprising when you think about it. Surrounded by aggressive women at work all day, not knowing how to interact without appearing sexist, patronizing, condescending, feeling insecure about their manhood because woman are their bosses, etc., the last thing a guy wants to deal with at a bar is the same situation. So when a demure woman, dressed in pink, showing a little cleavage, sits at the bar, no cell phone in sight (that's a big rule to follow ladies, keep your phones in your purses when you are trolling for guys) and smiles at him sweetly, well he melts. When she makes eye contact with him and listens, really listens to what he has to say, asks him questions and tells him she is curious and interested in what he does, well, it makes him feel good about himself and then he wants to spend more time with her so he continues to feel that way. It seems so simple.
I'm going to follow the advice of these podcasts and let you know what happens. I'm headed out to a happy hour this evening and I'm going to try a softer, more feminine approach. Smart phone tucked away, lipstick on, "girls" out, soft hair style, smile, happy happy, keep opinions to myself, and see what happens. I'll report back in on my progress. If it works, I'll share all of the secrets with you. If it doesn't, well, it will be like any other Friday night, lol.
I just can't believe my guy's woman got this trick before I did. She doesn't even like social media - oh, wait, that's probably part of the trick, huh? Pretending to not like social media so the guy is the man and can tell you all about it? Boy, I've got so much to learn...
Meanwhile, here's a recipe I got online, from a digital ad that interrupted my search for a good seafood restaurant. I not only allowed the ad to run, but copied it, tried it and am now sharing it with you. This digital advertising stuff really works...
4 sushi-grade tuna steaks (3 ounces each)
Salt and freshly ground pepper
nonstick cooking spray
12 ounces of slim green beans, trimmed
1 lean, juice and grated zest
1 clove of minced garlic
2 tablespoons wasabi paste
4 scallions sliced thin on the diagonal
3 tablespoons black sesame seeds
Bring a pot of salted water to a boil and preheat a grill or grill pan over high heat. Season the tuna with salt and pepper and scary them with cooking spray. When the gill is hot, add the tuna and for about 2 minutes per side (medium-rare). Transfer the tuna to a platter and allow to rest, uncovered for about 5 minutes. Cook the beans in the boiling water about 3 minutes and drain. In a medium bowl, whisk the lemon juice, zest, garlic and wasabi paste. Add the beans, scallions and sesame seeds and toss to coat, adding salt and pepper to taste. Thinly slice the tuna, fanning each portion onto each 4 plates. Pile a mound of the beans on top of the tuna and serve.
Each serving only has about 166 calories! Now, that's how to get a guy...
