Girl Power!

I had forgotten how much fun it is to be with my girl friends. Women are truly wonderful creatures. So full of strength, love and compassion. But in my friend-circle anyway, crazy-out-there fun! We share a bond of juggling personal lives and family expectations with careers, social lives and community service. It's hard to keep in touch with who we are and what we want with all of the attention we want and need to give to these other very important parts of our lives. And sometimes (let's face it, most of the time) we ignore ourselves and our own needs. So I am dedicating this post to all of the strong, intelligent, fun and exciting women I know. You go girls!

Sporting 3-D glasses prior to viewing the Mummy movie at FMFA

Women in the work place

It's a jungle out there and we are still "Jane". Even in the most progressive companies, it's tough to be a woman in the work place. It seems like we just can't win sometimes. We can behave just like our male counterparts and we're labeled "sensitive" when really we're just compassionate, "bitchy" when we are just strong, "manipulative" when what we are is resourceful. Even still we somehow find a way to enjoy and embrace our careers. It really is still a "man's world" when it comes to corporate America in many ways. We all know it and I'm going out on a limb here and actually saying it out loud. We'll never really be a part of that fraternity and I think we should stop trying to be. Our best success can be found by providing the Frat House with order, structure, compassion, gut check and intuition. By doing what we do best, we show our value and find our purpose. I for one never really liked smelly Frat houses anyway, but I liked going to their parties and the guys who participated in the fraternity were lots of fun. The point is, we shouldn't try to be men in order to be valued. I think the days have passed when women were devalued in the work place. I just think that because of our natural differences we won't always be welcomed at the lunch table. And I'm okay with that, especially since the conversations that can be had with my female coworkers during lunch are so much more interesting and pertinent to me and my world. But we do have to work harder to be taken seriously so ladies, stop crying, yelling, pampering and gossiping at work. We can do those things at home where we're really in charge, right?

Women in the home


Just because we can do it all, doesn't mean we should. I for one have made this mistake over and over again. Nobody can clean the house quite as good as I think I can, so I don't ask for help. Same with cooking; I love to cook so why would I ask someone to do that for me? Grocery shopping is something that would be great for someone else to do, but they wouldn't buy the brands I like or have the intuition to pick up those last minute ideas for entertaining or that special touch to the meal I've planned out, so I HAVE to do that myself. If you want to have a personal life and be able to actually enjoy yourself sometimes outside of the home, learn to ask for help and don't criticize if it isn't quite up to your standards. In the end, does it really matter if the carpet hasn't been vacummed perfectly? It just has to be done all over again in a few days anyway...Letting go is the hardest thing for a lot of us females. I've been reading a book called "Women who run with wolves" that explains our natural instinct as female animals is to be in charge, empowered, resourceful. But lucky for us we don't have to do it alone like most of our counterparts in the animal kingdom. So stop trying. Let a few things go on the home front so you have time to be sexy, fun and exciting. Might really make a difference. I'm putting that on my list for 2012 of "things to work on". Boy is that list getting long.

Parenting (or should I say "over" parenting)

Okay, let's face it. Our kids don't really need us as much as we think they do especially once they are in high school. We don't want to let go so we cling, clutch, attach ourselves to their bookbags and tell ourselves that we are doing it to protect them. Why are we REALLY doing it? I think it's because it is easier to do that and live through their lives than it is to try and live our own lives. It's scary out there in the grown up world and it feels safer and warmer to keep parenting the way we  needed to when our children were young. In hind sight empty nesting would be a lot easier if you transitioned into it like your children do. All of the steps they take toward adult hood; after school activities, driving, dating, are opportunities for the parents to step back a little at a time so by the time they are actually out of the door and into the dorm (or whatever) you are as ready as they are. Easy for me to say NOW...Take some of that time you'll have if you stop overparenting and pamper yourself. Put it into your budget to once a week have a manicure or pedicure, or join a gym and work out, or have a facial. I used to really enjoy going to the Ashland library and then hopping across the street to the Ashland Coffee and Tea house. Whatever you enjoy and makes you happy. Make a date with yourself and keep it! Then you'll be more available and interested in making a date with your "other".

Speaking of your "other"


A big complaint I often hear my male friends make is that their wives are always too tired for sex. The women I know love sex, at least they love talking about it! So here's my theory. Because we try to be super Moms and work so hard in our careers to show that we CAN do it all, not to mention all of the working hours at home with housework, cooking, grocery shopping, we just don't have a lot left. So when the lights go out at night, so do we. If your partner knows this I'm sure he/she would be more than willing to help out, especially since in the end it will also benefit them! So communicate, ask for help, pamper yourself and see what happens. Maybe, just maybe you'll be able to stay awake past 10:00pm!

Roasted sweet potato, baby broccoli, carrots and mushrooms

Do-ahead tips to take some stress off the dinner hour


I love to cook on weekends when there's plenty of time. It's great to linger over my cookbooks and find just the perfect recipe. And really COOK, not rush around the kitchen like a crazy person which is what I have to do on week nights after work. I also have to rush around in the morning and sometimes forget to make my lunch. Especially now that I'm trying to eat healthy. I come home starving and want to devour the entire frig. And if I don't pack my lunch it's nearly impossible to eat healthy at work. So lately I've been trying some do-ahead prep work to save myself time. Here are a few suggestions:

• Buy a package of organic bone-in split chicken breast, (they don't dry out as quickly as the boneless variety) and remove the skin. Spray a baking pan with cooking spray and put the chicken breasts in the pan. Put a little olive oil over the chicken and sprinkle with pepper, salt and oregano. Cover with foil and bake on 350 degrees for about 45 minutes. Let the chicken cool then remove from bones and put in a plastic container with a lid. Keep it in the frig, close at hand. You can cut up 3 oz at a time to put over salads for lunch, use some for chicken salad ( olive oil mayo, celery, a little peeled apple, salt and pepper) for lunch sandwiches, or heat up and serve with a whole grain and a vegetable for dinner. Quick and easy!

• Make a big salad and keep in the frig on Sunday and use throughout the week for lunch salads. You can also grab some quickly when you get home from work and you're hungry without spoiling your diet.

• Make a pasta salad or quinoa salad and keep in the frig. Use this for a side for your dinners at night or add beans and take some for lunches

• Keep plenty of fresh vegetables around. It's so easy and yummy to roast them and they taste great with everything. Simply cut up the veggies, sprinkle with olive oil and seasonings of your choice and roast in the over for 20 minutes or so.

• Make a big batch of smoothies and put 6 to 8 ozs in quart-sized bags and freeze. You can blend a bag at a time for a quick breakfast or dinner.

Collateral Damage

I've been spending some time lately thinking about the residual affect of a divorce. There are the obvious victims; the husband, wife and children. No matter who instigates the separation and no matter what the reason, these are the people who suffer the most. The husband, in most cases, has to learn to cook for himself, clean the house or pay for a cleaning service, learn to juggle all of the household duties that used to be either split equally or taken on by the wife. Even if he's the one who wanted "out" and even if he already has another person in line for the replacement position, at least for a period of time there is unrest. The wife often has to find a way to support herself. In most cases she's left with the house to maintain even if she's getting financial assistance from the "ex". There's the yard work, finances, trash, in addition to all of the responsibilities that she already had. If there are small children involved the impact on time and energy is unmeasurable. The emotional damage that takes place on both husband and wife is rarely ever considered in the court room. And the children... The guilt they sometimes feel, the self-loathing, the anger at having to move to a new house, town even school. All because the two adults that they hold in the highest esteem and who they have as role models couldn't find a way to get along with each other.

Missy

Princess

It doesn't stop with just the major players, however. This is what I've been pondering lately. Where does the fall out end? Well, let's first look at the other creatures that live in the home. Say you have pets. Best case scenario is that all of the pets can be kept. What if they can't, though. What if you sell the house and both parties have to rent? Apartments usually have a 2-pet maximum. So now if you have 2 cats and 2 dogs you have to find a way to split up the furry family as well. Who gets "Buddy" and who gets "Sam"? Well, obviously Buddy and Sam don't have much of a say in this decision. So now they have to be separated. What if you can't keep the pets due to financial or rental rules? Now you've broken a promise to not only your spouse and your children but to your pets and the services you used to get them in the first place. It's messed up, to say the least.

Sadly, I have two cats who have become Collateral Damage in my current divorce. I have a 2-pet maximum and my husband is having trouble keeping the house Real Estate Show-ready with the 2 cats and 1 dog that remained. Here are their pictures: Missy and Princess. They are both loving, well behaved adult cats that need a good foster home until the house sells. If you are interested or know anyone who is, drop me an email at debbiesk4@gmail.com and let me know. They have been with me through three houses and eleven years and it breaks my heart that we are in this situation. I would like to keep them together since they are "mother and daughter" and have been together most of their lives; Princess was only one when she had Missy.Next, think about your friends and neighbors. How on earth can they decide who they will remain friends with and who they avoid? How do you tell them? While distant friends and neighbors may just want some side-walk gossip, the people who you really care about and who care about you get this ugly all over them. It's so sad what this can do. I've been on both sides of this and it is one of life's biggest tragedy's to me. In my first divorce I lost almost all of my friends. My husband and I had been married since we were very young and we shared almost all of our friends. I think he seemed more upset by the divorce than I seemed and everyone rushed to his side to help him feel better. I didn't want to put our friends in the middle of our mess, so I backed off. It probably seemed like I was less impacted by the ordeal than he was, but that wasn't the case at all.  I was just holding on to everything strong inside me to cope and maintain sanity for my kids' sakes. I was also going through a bad case of postpartum depression and sadly nobody really was around me enough to tell.  I have also been the friend who's friends got divorced. That was equally as unnerving. I hated being put in the middle and was angry at them for ruining a good thing that we all had together. It's also always a shock. Even if you know they aren't getting along and even if you agree that getting a divorce is probably the best idea, it still seems to come from nowhere and take you by surprise.

Your accountant, real estate agent, financial advisor, Paster/Priest, cleaning service, dog sitter/walker, daycare workers are all impacted as well. They don't know what your situation is and they really just want to avoid contact with both of you until the dust settles. Everyone is afraid to tell either of you anything for fear there is some big legal battle that they will put themselves in the middle of.

How can you avoid Collateral Damage? I think there are ways to minimize it. First, I think you should sit down with your spouse as soon as possible after the "D" word is raised and discuss this. Come up with a plan of how you will, together, tell your children and your friends and what you will tell them. Make decisions about the pets that are not only in your best interest but in theirs as well. Send an email or note to your joint-business partners together and let them know who they should be dealing with for what. I think there will always be Collateral Damage, but it seems like this would make it less than normal at least.

The best way, however, to avoid the Collateral Damage from a divorce is to make the right choice upfront. Either commit to staying married through thick and thin, for better or for worse, or don't get married at all. I know that doesn't seem to have a Disney-like ending, but sometimes I think it is probably the best solution.

A Lesson In Nutrition

I had my first session today with my Nutritionist. Not as scary as the Financial Planner, but close. It included getting on a scale that measures your bone density, body mass index, water percentage, weight and a few other metrics that are probably equally as embarrassing, if I knew what they meant. I came out on the high end of the BMI, but the good news is my bones weigh a lot. I laughed out loud at this assessment remembering when I was growing up and my mother would refer to people as "big boned". Funny thing is I don't think I've always been "big boned" because up until about 10 years ago I was a very petite person. Maybe your bones put on weight when you eat a lot of cheese?? Speaking of cheese, it also included an interview where I had to describe what I eat in an average day. Long story short, I have to give up the cheese, at least for a while.

First off the Nutritionist, who is in my age range, looked like a teenager. She has perfect skin, perfect body, no wrinkles and shiny, healthy hair. That made an impression right off the bat because obviously she is doing something right! A few minutes into the conversation and I knew it was worth every penny (a total of $15 because it's included in my Boot Camp program). I came in right after finishing a work out and I had my 8-oz water bottle in hand, half empty. The first thing she said to me is "how old are you, 5? you need a real water bottle." I love people who tell it like it is because I don't always "get" subtitles.

I have been raving about my smoothies for breakfast. Sorry for leading you all astray, but those aren't good for you. Not for breakfast anyway. The combination of juice and fruit gives you a rise in your glucose that can make you crash and burn by 2:00p.m. That could explain the overwhelming desire to take a nap around that time every day! She explained that I should think of my body as a chemistry project - food is the fuel that gets your body from one point to the other. When you change your eating habits or patterns on a random or constant basis you get the "machine" that is your body all confused. "She's giving me sugar, I guess that means I have to burn energy". "No more meat, that means she wants me to S L O W down". Needless to say, I have failed (again) at Chemistry.

One of the biggest WOWs I got out of my first session was this: If you think about the grocery store by things that can spoil and things that can't, it's a good guide for what you should eat. You want to eat things that can spoil because they digest faster and easier in your body. If it was meant to last forever on the shelf, it will probably last forever on your thighs. So stay on the perimeter and avoid the isles. Fresh fruits and vegetables, fresh meats and seafood, dairy and whole grains. The other thing I learned is that quinoa is the new power food. This simple grain has twice the protein and fiber of other grains and it tastes great! I've heard this before, but she reiterated the need for 5 to 6 small meals a day rather than 2 large ones. Here are some other tips that I'll pass on to you (to help make up for the fact that I ruined your metabolism with my Smoothie suggestions in earlier posts).

Guideline for Healthy Eating

• Eat 5 to 6 small meals a day
• Eat every 2 - 3 hours (this I can do!)
• Combine lean protein and complex carbs at every meal
• Never skip a meal, especially breakfast
• Avoid all over-processed, refined foods
• Avoid saturated fats and trans fats-fried foods
• Avoid sugar loaded colas and juices (sorry!)
• Eat fresh fruits and vegetables for fiber, vitamins and enzymes
• Stick to proper portion control and portion sizes

Here's a grocery list that we came up with for me, based on my likes and dislikes and weight-loss needs. You can build your own based on the above guidelines.

Debbie's Grocery List

Oatmeal

Egg Whites

Whole grain bread

Split Chicken Breasts (she recommended I put chicken back into my diet so that I'll get full and avoid night cravings)

Fish

Bananas, oranges and grapefruit

Almonds

Fat-free milk (she advised me to drop from 2% to skim)

Greek yogurt

Truvia (an all natural sugar substitute that tastes better than Stevia)

Sweet potatoes (another new power food)

Brown Rice

Quinoa, 

Red Pepper

Spinach

Broccoli

Asparagus

Soybeans

Whole wheat pasta

Kidney beans

Olive oil

Cooking Spray

For the next few weeks, I'll concentrate on recipes that use these core ingredients starting with the amazing quinoa recipe that follows. Enjoy!

Roasted Vegetable Quinoa

1 cup of uncooked quinoa

2 cups of water

1/2 medium sweet potato cut into bite-sized pieces

1/2 medium red pepper, chopped

1/2 pound of fresh asparagus cut into one-inch pieces

2 tablespoons of olive oil

1 tablespoon of fresh cilantro 

Pepper and Mrs Dash's seasoning to taste

Cook the quinoa according to package instructions. It turns translucent when done (I just think that's cool)

Meanwhile put 1/2 of the olive oil in the bottom of a small baking pan

Chop the vegetables and put them on top of the olive oil

Sprinkle with the seasoning and cilantro and top with the remaining olive oil

Bake on 400 degrees for about 30 minutes

Combine with the cooked quinoa 

Roasted Chicken Breasts

1 split chicken breast, bone in, skin removed

2 tablespoons of olive oil

1 tablespoon of oregano 

Pepper and salt to taste

Spray baking dish with cooking spray

wash and remove skin from the chicken breast and put in baking dish

Sprinkle with seasoning and olive oil

Cover with Reynolds Wrap and bake on 400 degrees for about 35 minutes. Remove Reynolds Wrap and bake for 15 more minutes.

For one serving I had about 1 cup of the quinoa with about 3 ounces of the chicken breast. I'll find out if this is okay in next week's session when we go over my food diary!

Two Months Into Empty-Nexting and What Have I Learned?

I can't believe that just two months ago I began this journey of discovering what's next for me. Sometimes it seems much longer and sometimes it seems like yesterday. That feeling of utter confusion and panic that swept over me then is almost completely gone, but I'm still feeling like I'm in-between; I think it must be like that feeling some people have described between life and death, limbo they call it. And in a way it is the same. One life is ending and another, different kind of life is on the horizon. You can almost see it but the horizon line is hiding what is on the other side. The good news for all those empty-nesters and future empty-nesters out there is that there is a horizon and I have my sights on it. What's on the other side is exciting and mysterious and, even though a little frightening, somewhat alluring.  But before I can cross-over, I have to examine and learn from all the little events that brought me to this state of in-between. Two months in and here's what I've learned so far:

• I have had some successes
• I have made some questionable choices
• I have made some serious mistakes
• I've had quite a bit of fun
• I haven't always considered other people's feelings 
• Sometimes I have been too preoccupied with other people's feelings
• I've developed some bad habits
• I still have a lot to offer the world and
• One day I will be ready to try it again

I think back over the years and for the most part I am very proud of how I have parented my children. I think that is the one true success of my life. When I look at how completely wonderful, inside and out, my two daughters are I know I must have done something right. They are strong, intelligent, talented, creative young women who have a zest for life and a love for knowledge. Both in a different way. They are funny, beautiful, independent and brave. Even if my only contribution was to show them what NOT to do or be, it was done successfully and I'm proud of the result. For those new parents out there the best advice I can give you is to develop the kind of relationship with your children that is built on mutual respect and trust. If you want to make sure your children are safe and on the right path, you first have to trust them to make mistakes. Don't hover, don't invade their privacy, don't push too hard to make them what YOU want them to be. Do listen, talk often and openly about everything and offer them a safe environment to talk to you without judging or jumping off the roof (sometimes they will tell you things you may not want to hear and you have to not react the way you want to). Do offer advice, but don't get upset if they ignore it - you know you would too at their age.  And do offer support. If they say they want to be an actress, don't laugh - trust me it really can happen. If they want to play guitar get them lessons - sometimes it really does stick!

Now here's a bit of advice that I have learned the hard way. Do not get emotionally invested in any of their boyfriends/girlfriends until they are engaged. It's funny but they move on a lot faster and easier than you do when there's a break up. It's funny because I have discussed this with my friends who have teenaged or older children and this seems to be the case for everyone of them as well. I'm not sure what it is that causes this; maybe it's that as we get older we don't make as many friends so we grab onto the friendships we make through our children and because we have fewer friends it's harder to lose one. I'm not sure. Anyway, avoid it like the plague! And if your "perfect" children make mistakes forgive them. It's not easy to be on a pedestal and even harder to stay there so remember that your children aren't perfect either, but they are yours and you should love them no matter what they do. Luckily for me, my daughters ARE perfect... 

I have a few regrets about how I've entered into relationships. I consider my first marriage to be a success because it lasted in the double-digits and we had two "perfect" children together (see above paragraph). Also we are still great friends and will be for as long as we are alive. The marriage didn't last forever, but the relationship actually will. I consider my last marriage to be a success because I know that I gave it my all and tried to be a good wife. It didn't work out but it didn't end badly and we have both been "adult" about how we've conducted ourselves through the divorce. But I have dated men that I shouldn't have, even when I knew better. Even worse I've allowed those men into my life and into my children's lives. I won't forgive myself for that. I didn't marry any of those men, but the impact is still the same. I'm sure it was as hard on my children when my relationship didn't work out as it was for me when theirs didn't. I hate that I did that to them.

I also have made bad financial decisions over my lifetime. I don't regret the money that I've spent having fun with my children, traveling, making my home "cozy" and warm. I do regret all of the money that has disappeared into thin air. I wish I had done a better job of keeping track of my spending so I would have more disposable income now for traveling to see my daughters and to take FAB vacations.

I haven't taken good care of myself over the past 10 years and I regret that. Mostly because now I have to do Boot Camp to kick myself in the butt three to four times a week and I'm eating "Rabbit Food" and  not drinking wine during the week, just so I can fit into my "Fat Jeans"....So much harder to get the weight off than it was to put in on. This, I will remember for my next "life".

And my last real regret is that I have avoided some things that would have given me great joy because of worrying too much about other people's feelings. I won't do that next time around!

So when I cross-over into the new horizon of Empty-nexting  I will remember these lessons and I will be a better person for it. Here are some of my promises to myself to ensure a successful Empty-Nexting:

• I will only date men that are awesome and who deserve me, at my best
• I will not introduce any of these men to my daughters unless I am 100% sure they will stay in my life
• I will get this weight off and keep it off! Even if it means Boot Camp for the rest of my life...
• I will spend money wisely and only on things I cherish

Speaking of Recipes for Success, here's a winning breakfast recipe that is perfect for Sunday brunch:

Brunch Burrito

2 eggs
1/3 cup of milk (2% or less)
2 tablespoons of parmesan cheese
2 green onions, diced white and green parts
2 tablespoons of chopped green pepper
1/2 of a medium tomato diced
Fresh cilantro (about 1 tablespoon chopped)
2 tablespoons of olive oil spread
salt and pepper to taste
1 large spinach floured tortilla
Herb creamed cheese, about 1 tablespoon

Scramble eggs with milk and salt and pepper and set aside
Heat olive oil spread or butter in a medium saute pan and cook onions (save some of the green parts) and green pepper until tender, about 5 minutes. Add scrambled eggs to pan and mix with the onions and green peppers, stirring constantly about 3 minutes or until eggs are set.

Line tortilla with creamed cheese. Put egg mixture in the center of the tortilla and top with cheese, diced tomatoes and cilantro and top with green parts of the green onion. Add hot sauce if you like it spicy! Fold ends in and roll like a burrito to keep the good stuff from falling out. cut into two halves and serve with fresh melon and a glass of chilled V8.

Learning to Cook

Admittedly, I'm a "Foodie". I've said before that I love cooking, eating, grocery shopping, even list-making. But a lot of Empty-Nesters don't. Several of my male friends have expressed an interest in a blog that focuses on basic instructions for cooking a simple meal. One even suggested I create a video blog with cooking classes. My youngest daughter is in Film School and could actually produce this for me so I'm putting it on my "to do" list for late spring or summer. Keep your eyes open for that all of you want-to-be cooks! Meanwhile I thought I'd dedicate this post to those of you who don't aspire to be the next Top Chef, but DO want to gain some basic skills in making dinner for yourself. This is really basic so if you cook already, skip this post and go back to the Dog Park!

First off, it's really easy so don't run from the thought of getting out the pots and pans. There are a lot of simple tricks that can turn "fast food" from the grocery store into a healthy, fulfilling meal. Start by making a list of the kinds of food you like; take a minute and really think about this. Do you like snow peas but hate green beans? Do you love steak but can't stand fish? Put it all down on paper. Now put down on paper the meal you would like cooked for you. Everyone has one of these favorites. Mine used to be my Mom's meatloaf and mashed potatoes. Nobody did it as well as her and I didn't even try to. But every now and then when I needed a flash back to my childhood, I'd come really close. Now that I'm not eating meat, I have other comfort foods that I can put in the mix, but if anything were to make me switch back it would be my Mom's meatloaf (topped with Ketchup and a little melted cheddar) and her homemade mashed potatoes with real milk and real butter. If that's your comfort food too, here's a quick alternative:

Food Lion sells a prepared meatloaf (in the meat section with the prepared BBQ and pre-packaged chicken nuggets, which you should avoid). I believe Tyson is the brand. It has the Ketchup topping and you can microwave it for 4 minutes, then add some shredded cheddar if you'd like. Rather than the prepared carton of mashed potatoes, get the package of Baby Reds instant mashed potatoes (near the Mac and Cheese and Hamburger Helper (which, like the chicken nuggets, you should avoid). You just add boiling water and the instant potatoes in a medium sauce pan and let sit for 5 minutes - you'd be surprised just how close these come to home-made taste! In the frozen food section of most grocery stores now you will find single-serve frozen vegetables. Stock up on those and add one to your meal each night. Avoid the ones with heavy sauce or cheese and stick to the basics like green beans, corn, carrots or mixed vegetables. A little salt and pepper makes all of the difference!

The above will make two servings so you could have one serving for dinner and take one for lunch the next day. Some folks don't mind eating the same meal two nights in a row. If that's you, go for it!

Now that you've dusted off your saute pan, let's take a stab at a real home-cooked meal. The recipe below will make 4 servings. Read on for some tips to using the basic meal with some alternatives and add ons to create 4 nights' worth of dinners:

Vegetable Pasta with Marinara Sauce - Night One

1 box of vegetable shells (you'll recognize this because the shells are different colors; red, green and yellow to represent the vegetables that are contained within the pasta)
1 jar of any brand of marinara sauce
1 tablespoon of olive oil
Garlic salt (about 1/4 teaspoon) Oregano (about 1 tablespoon) salt and pepper to taste
1/4 cup of mixed peppers (green, yellow and red)
1/4 cup of diced onion
1/3 cup of grated parmesan cheese

You'll need two pans; a medium sauce pan and a medium frying pan or saute pan, a wooden spoon and a colander (food strainer)

Boil the pasta in water in the medium sauce pan (follow the instructions on the box)
While the pasta is boiling, heat the oil in the saute pan and cook the diced onion, peppers and seasoning, stirring occasionally, for about 5 minutes on medium heat.
Lower the heat to low (about 3 on the dial) and add the marinara sauce.
Cover and simmer for about 5 more minutes. Pour the pasta, water and all, into the strainer and shake until the water is out. Pour the pasta back into the sauce pan and add the marinara sauce mixture. Mix together with a wooden spoon until the sauce covers the pasta. Put 1/4 of the contents on a plate and sprinkle with grated parmesan cheese. You don't need to add anything else because the pasta counts as a vegetable and a starch. But if you want you can add one of the frozen single-serve vegetables and/or a small roll or piece of Italian bread.

Put the rest of the pasta in a sealed plastic container in the refrigerator.

Chicken Pasta - Night Two...

You'll need a medium saute pan and a wooden spoon.

Pasta from Night One
1 Tablespoon olive oil
1 small package Tyson grilled chicken (prepared foods' section of grocery store with meats)

Heat the oil in the saute pan and put the cooked, grilled chicken in the oil. Cook on low to medium heat for about 5 minutes. You can add salt and pepper if you'd like.
Add 1/3 of the leftover pasta and cook for another 5 minutes or until warm

Serve with a little grated parmesan cheese.

Shrimp Pasta - Night Three


You'll need a medium saute pan and a wooden spoon

Pasta from Night Two
1 tablespoon olive oil
About 8 shrimp, cooked frozen and shelled and deveined ( you can buy a bag of already cooked and shelled shrimp in the frozen food section of the grocery store - just take out as many shrimp as you'd like for one meal)

Heat the oil in the saute pan and put the frozen shrimp in the oil. Cook on low to medium heat for about 5 minutes. Add one half of the pasta from night three in with the shrimp and heat through. Serve - it's like brand new!

Baked Pasta with Cheese - Night Four


You'll need a small baking dish

Pasta from Night Three
1/3 cup of grated mozzarella cheese
1/3 cup of grated parmesan cheese
Fresh or dried basil (about 1 tablespoon)

Preheat oven to 350 degrees. Put the pasta in the baking pan and mix in the mozzarella cheese. Top with the parmesan cheese and the basil. Cook for about 20 minutes and serve!

If you eat these night after night, I'm not going to lie, you'll be really sick of pasta! You may want to do two nights worth and freeze the rest for the following week. I would!

Socializing at the Dog Park

My dog, Ninja, is quite the social butterfly. One of the best aspects of my new home is the dog park that is a short walk away. It has become a very important part of our daily routine as it gives both Ninja and I some much-needed social interaction. People who bring their dogs to the dog park are bringing them there for one of several reasons: their dog is hyperactive and it helps them get a break later in the day or night (my personal reason), they are bored and need a little social interaction (another personal reason) and/or it is apparently a great way to "hook up" with singles. Who knew? This aspect was brought to my attention recently by a co-worker's wife. I really hadn't considered this, probably because I'm not remotely interested right now in "hooking up" with anybody, unless Johnny Depp or Jude Law happen onto my dog park...

The story goes that a lot of singles are now finding each other at dog parks all across the Country. It's the new "grocery store". Remember a few years ago the grocery store was the hot new singles hang out? Well, now it's the dog park. You get to see how these people treat their dogs, and have a chance to bond over a mutual interest. Plus, there's a lot of down time while your dogs are sniffing, biting and chasing each other and in order to fill the void, you find yourself talking and sharing things you don't tell anyone with these perfect strangers. The funny thing is, all of those things are true and I have noticed them. I just didn't realize that it was a vetting process. I just thought we were filling the down time, so to speak. This person who told me of this new meeting ground was quite in-the-know and has girl friends who swear by it. Choosing the right dog park is apparently very important. When I'm ready to look, I'm told I need to go to the University of Richmond dog park as the variety of dog owners is the best.

It's a good thing that I'm not looking or interested because, as usual, I have been going about the process all wrong. I take Ninja to the park before work in the early morning (7:00a.m.ish) before I've had a shower and while I am still wearing sweat pants and a hoodie, no make up, haven't even brushed my teeth or my hair. Not my best look. And when I go on weekends, it's usually later in the morning but on these days I don't get a shower or put on make up or dress, really, until noon. So the folks I run into at the dog park have no idea what I really look like. And I talk a lot more with other women than I do with men. I'm afraid I may have been downright rude on a few occasions as I look back on my dog park experiences with this new-found knowledge. I've played with Ninja rather than having conversation and when people have asked me personal questions, like how long have you lived here, what does your husband do, where do you work, I've been thrown off and haven't really given direct responses. In my defense, I don't like to talk a lot when I haven't brushed my teeth or combed my hair...

Still though, for about 6 days in a row Ninja has been "hooking up" with a studdly Black Lab named Sam. Sam and Ninja experienced what can only be described as love at first sight. Him with his blue bandana around his neck and his shinning black coat and Ninja with her long, flowing "hair" and her black snout. They took one sniff and were bonded for life. Ninja can tell when Sam's at the park and starts tearing at the back door. As we near the park, Sam stands erect at the dog park gate and pants and  stares at her until we enter the gate. Then the two of them run off chasing, sniffing and biting until me or Sam's "Dad" say it's time to leave. Maybe there is a chance for a love-connection at the dog park, but it's more likely to be for Ninja than me at this point.

Boot Camp - Week One

I've almost made it through my first week of my 12 week boot camp. Body is sore, but my mind is feeling stronger. Monday, the first night of BC, I had to really push myself to go. It was cold and raining and I've literally been a couch potato for nearly seven years, so I knew it was going to be incredibly challenging. And embarrassing! I used to be so fit! I did gymnastics in high school - and was quite good, or so they say. And played club lacrosse and flag football in college. I could always rise to the occasion in gym class, even if I never worked out. But now I'm finding it hard to bounce back into the whole routine.

Anyway, I went and I pushed myself and the trainer told me I did a great job, for my first session. He told me to take Advil and a warm shower before bed, which I think really helped because Tuesday morning came and I actually was able to get out of bed and hobble into the shower! Tuesday night I took a power walk with Ninja around the Park and took a hot bath. So Wednesday I was ready for another go at it! Then about an hour before class, it started to pour rain! Okay, is it going to rain EVERY training session? Did I mention, these classes take place outside, rain or shine? So I really didn't want to go. I felt sore and I just didn't think I could deal with another night of running in the rain and cold. But I'm determined to make it stick this time, so I pushed myself out of the door and over to the Clubhouse where we all meet up. Great thing happened, we moved our class indoors and used the equipment! I loved that because I've been wanting to learn how to use all of the weights and bikes, so here was a great chance to get trained on that. But first, the butt-kicking took place!

It's so humiliating to not be able to do so many of the exercises that I used to do with ease. The older you get the harder it is to balance on one foot, lung across a room backwards, jump over benches and pretty much everything else! After an hour of this, and a cool down, I was really glad I went. I actually felt less-sore and more empowered. In spite of my best intentions, I did not work out on Thursday night as I had planned. I was going to take a free high intensity cardio class at my gym, but instead I collapsed on the sofa with my dog and a good book. Body needed a break! Tonight was grocery shopping, house cleaning and getting ready for a "girls' night" on Saturday, but I did do a long walk in the Park with Ninja. Tomorrow is my third and final boot camp class for the week and 9:00a.m. It isn't supposed to rain, but it is supposed to be around 20 degrees. It will be a good bit easier to talk myself into going though, because it will be a great way to start the day and the weekend on a healthy note. After all that, and a diet of fruits, vegtables and whole grains for a solid week, I should have lost at least 20 pounds, right? Wrong! The scales had me down about 2 pounds. I've convinced myself that the scales just haven't caught up with my body yet and in reality I'm sure I've lost at least 5 pounds....this isn't going to be easy, I can tell.

New Smoothie Recipe!

I have been getting a little tired of my mixed berry "cocktail" in the morning so I tried a new version today. Here goes!

1/2 cup of carrot juice
1/4 cup of frozen mango cubes
1/4 cup peaches and bananas (frozen)
1/3 cup of fresh spinach
If you want more liquid, add a little apple juice or Almond milk

Blend together and enjoy!

Beware of the Grocery Store Maze!

I love grocery shopping. I love food and cooking and planning menus, so a trip to the grocery store combines those elements together into one big happy excursion. Before empty-nesting,  I would spend hours planning the week's meals, looking through cookbooks, making my grocery list; separating out ingredients I needed to buy from speciality stores versus what I could find at the local grocery. Sunday dinner was a big adventure for me. My youngest daughter's rock band practiced at our home on Sunday and dinner time included all four band members, plus their girlfriends and the occasional best friends. We always had 6 to 10 people over for dinner on Sunday including my husband and me. And it was an opportunity to cook something new or different with a captive audience of eager eaters. What fun! I would grill kabobs, shrimp with pineapple and red pepper, chicken with celery and new potatoes, sirloin with onions, mushrooms and green peppers, vegetable kabobs and fruit kabobs for dessert to be dipped in chocolate fondue. Make tacos including black bean salsa and vegetarian taco options. Or experiment with a casserole. Anyway, the point is, there was a lot of food and in order to have a lot of food on the table, I spent a lot of time and money at the grocery store.

So it's no surprise that when I moved and went to a solo-empty-nesting lifestyle, grocery shopping was the hardest adjustment for me. I'll never forget my first grocery shopping experience as a solo-eater. It took me 2 1/2 hours and I spent over $200.00! Remember, I was only buying for me and I was on a diet! I got home with all of those groceries and as I was putting them away I laughed out loud at myself. What was I thinking? I made myself a promise that from now on I'd stick to my list.

The first problem was I have moved to a new part of town so I had to "break in" a new grocery store. I was so familiar with my old grocery, I should've been considering how much time I spent there! But this one was bigger and everything was arranged differently. Plus it has a lot more prepared food options and a huge made-to-order section that my old store didn't have. On man - that is so dangerous for a "foodie". Anyway, that's one reason it took me so long. The other reason is because I was literally wondering around in a state of shock. I had NO IDEA how to shop for one. I had a list with me, but I let myself get totally confused by the selection and the prepared food options. And I hadn't really accepted the fact that I was cooking for just me, myself and I. After that experience, I have tried to do a better job of planning ahead and here are some things that have worked for me:

• Plan your week's meals - it's still fun to find recipes and plan the week's menu. You just have to cut the recipes in half so they serve two rather than 4.
• Adjust your grocery list according to the new serviing sizes - especially with fresh produce or meat, you will just waste what you don't use if you don't have a plan
• Include lunches and meals out in your plan - so you make sure and buy appropriately. If you know you'll eat out at least once, that saves you on your grocery bill. And if you are making meals for two you have the choice of eating the dinner two nights in a row, eating a portion for lunch or freezing a portion. Put that in your plan.
• Don't buy in bulk - it won't save you money, it will just waste the food and your cash.
• Avoid prepackaged fruits and vegetables - get only what you need for the week so you can avoid waste

I went from over $200 a week to about $80 a week, including dog and cat food. See yesterday's budget blog for ways you can reallocate that savings!

Here's a great dinner option that includes ingredients you should have on hand for other meals:

Asparagus, "bacon" pizza

1 12-inch whole wheat pizza crust

1/4 pound of fresh asparagus, trimmed and sliced horizontally in thin strips

4 strips of bacon ( I use Morning Star fake bacon)

3 Tablespoons of Olive Oil

1/4 cup of parmesan cheese

4 green onions, chopped stems and all

1 medium red pepper

1 clove of garlic

Fresh basil - about 1/4 cup chopped

Salt and pepper to taste

Cook garlic, chopped red pepper, onions and bacon in olive oil  about 8 minutes or until tender and bacon in done throughout. Spread this mixture over top of pizza crust. Top with asparagus, parmesan cheese, basil and salt and pepper. Bake on 400 degrees for about 10 minutes. One serving would be 1/2 of the pizza. Wrap the other half in foil and take for lunch the next day.

Getting My Fnances In Order

For most of my life someone (my parents, my advisor, my girlfriends, my husband(s)…) have been telling me that I need to save money for retirement. The problem is retirement seemed so far away and what a waste to save money for something that I may never live to see. Surprise! It’s not that far away now, and I’m not sure where the time or the money went.

So now that it’s me telling me that I should think about saving money for retirement, it seems like a pretty good idea! I have always been really scared of financial advisors. They just want to make sure you don’t have any fun what-so-ever and that you put every penny you have into some annuity or money-market that lines there pockets, right? Not so much. I bit the bullet and actually sat down with one of these folks and as scary as it was, it didn’t kill me! He actually made a lot of sense and together we worked up a plan that should put me in decent shape to retire on time…not as soon as I’d like, but not as long as it could be.

Naturally, I can’t start this plan until after the Holidays because I have some making up to do! Travel is high on the list right now and I had already made plans to visit my daughter in New York and my friend in Miami over the holidays. But January 2^nd come hell or high water, I am beginning my savings plan!

This is where putting yourself first can get into conflict with itself. I know I need money for retirement, but I also need to have fun! That’s why in my budget I have allowed ample room for some domestic travel throughout the year. I’d rather do that than buy a lot of clothes and some simple cut backs on unnecessary groceries and move rentals and suddenly it’s all possible! Here are some tips I've learned and am trying to adapt to my lifestyle:

Make a budget - it doesn't have to be fancy or complicated. I made a simple Excel spreadsheet with all of my normal expenses; phone bill, electric bill, car payment, rent, insurance, etc. Add your credit card or loan payments and in the monthly column put the minimum amount due. Add a column for payoff amount. Trust me, this isn't to torment you or "rub it in", it's just to show you what it will take to pay that loan off. Think of it as a goal, a LOFTY goal in some cases. Add what you spend on average for groceries, gas, entertainment, things that are necessary parts of your life but that you can adjust if need be. The most important part is to be realistic. You aren't fooling anybody but making these numbers lower than they are - this is your budget and really for your eyes only, so be honest with yourself.

See what's left - once you have this budget outlined, put a row for what you bring in every month total including your pay check and any other deposits you make on a regular basis. Then subtract what you spend from what you make. That's the most important number on your spreadsheet. If you spend more than what you make, obviously that's a problem. Most people have money leftover; in my case more than I thought. So where does all of that money go? That's your next step.

Write down every dollar you spend and what you spent it on for one week - seems impossible but it's really important. If you don't know where your money is going you'll never get your spending under control. Maybe you need to budget more for food or less for groceries. The only way to know is to go through this exercise and see where's it all is going. I discovered that I was spending about $15 a week on Starbucks coffee. That's $60 a month and over $700 a year. Or, if you look at it another way, that's airfare to LA and New York to visit my kids. Okay, that's worth reallocating, right? That's how you do it - find what is really important to you and put your money there, rather than letting it drift away on things you really don't care about.

I'm no financial expert; quite the opposite. But this is working for me. Also, log on to Mint.com. It gives you a weekly snap shot of where your money is being spent and is quite easy and helpful. My financial goals for 2012 are:

1. Pay off credit card debt - I would save enough every month to speed up my retirement by 3 years! That's just worth doing, right?
2. Increase my retirement savings - see number one for part of how I'm planning to do this.
3. Budget for travel - bye bye Starbucks!
4. Build my emergency fund - because Life Happens. Unexpected car maintenance issues, emergency appliance breakdowns, medical expenses. The last thing you want to have to do is charge these expenses on a credit card and be back in the same fix you were in this time last year (I'm speaking to myself here, by the way).

When I read this I don't even know who I am anymore! Maybe that's a good thing though. Part of putting yourself first is finding ways to keep yourself happy and having money to spend on travel and the occasional "treat" will make me happy. Having a budget and a plan is another first for me in 2012!

Daily Recipe


Speaking of green things, add some Kale to your diet. It's full of iron and vitamins and taste really great too. This is a recipe that I love to make for my daughters when they come home because they are both vegetarians and this makes enough for all of us for several meals.

Kale and Northern Bean Salad

1 one pound bag of organic kale
2 cloves of garlic
3 tablespoons of olive oil
4 green onions, stems and all
1 can of Great Northern Beans, drained and rinsed thoroughly
1/4 teaspoon of hot sauce
lime juice, red pepper flakes, salt and pepper to taste

Saute garlic and onion in olive oil over medium heat in a large sauce pan. Wash and rinse kale thoroughly and chop and remove stems. Add kale to garlic mixture and simmer, covered, for about 8 minutes stirring occasionally. Add beans and lime juice and cook through another 5 minutes. Remove from heat and add hot sauce, salt and pepper and pepper flakes and mix. Serve as an entre' or a side. This goes really well with baked salmon or tuna.

Is This All There is?

Up to this point everything I've shared has been very positive about my empty nexting experience. But what I haven't shared with you is the feeling that you get the first time you realize that you are completely alone. I have to be honest with you, it sucks. There is no sugar coating the feeling of despair that takes you over when you let your brain go there....what happens if I have a heart attack and there's nobody here to call 911? What if I fall down the stairs and can't get to a phone? Will I ever be able to retire now? Or what happened to me yesterday; I had really exciting news to share. I was so anxious about my boot camp experience and I wanted nothing more than to have someone to talk it over with. Neither of my daughters were answering their phones, darn them for having lives of their own! My best friend didn't pick up either. And calling anyone else to gush over such a trivial event seemed inappropriate. So I blogged about it. That helped. But there's nothing like human contact, even if it's over the phone line, when you have something to share that makes you happy or sad. It can take you over if you let it. So don't let it! You have to push forward, change the subject, find something else to do to take your mind off of the loneliness. And for the love of God, don't start thinking about the jerk that left you, cheated on you, broke your heart, made you feel like pond scum. Just don't go there! It gets you no where and it adds negativity to your life that you can't afford to let in. That's why I'm choosing to keep this blog about empty nesting positive, but I don't want to give the false impression that I don't have those low moments because I do. Everyone does. It wouldn't be natural otherwise. We just don't need to dwell on that because I think that all goes without saying. So the answer to my title question, "is this all there is?" is no. But sometimes it feels that way.

Tonight's Recipe is:
Curry Shrimp and Vegetables


1 tablespoon of Canola Oil
1/2 pound of medium shrimp shelled and deveined
1 Russet potato, peeled and cut into bite-sized pieces
1 cup of string beans cooked and drained
3 small carrots cut into bite-sized pieces
4 green onions, cut white and green parts
1 clove of garlic
1 small yellow pepper cut, seeds removed
1 jar of prepared red curry sauce
1 small canned biscuit bake (makes 5)
1/4 cup of fresh basil chopped

Saute the garlic, onion and yellow pepper in hot oil
Add shrimp, potatoes and carrots and cook until they are half way done (about 5 minutes)
Add string beans and curry sauce, cover and simmer on low for about 10 minutes.

Meanwhile, cook the biscuits according to package directions.


Cut 2 biscuits open in half and put them in the bottom of a deep bowl. With a large spoon, ladle one-third of the shrimp curry over the biscuits careful to include about 4 of the shrimp.

Wrap the remaining biscuits in foil and put the remaining Shrimp Curry in an airtight container.

Use two of the biscuits with Morning Star sausage (or if you eat meant, regular sausage) for breakfast the next day.

Use the Shrimp Curry over white rice the next day for lunch or dinner. I promise you won't mind eating this a second time!

Diet and Exercise - Where Do I Begin?

After about seven years of bad habits and fitness-avoidance I realized it's time I get myself back in shape. What a mess I've made of myself, physically! So now that I've made up my mind to start a fitness routine, I had to decide where to begin. I have joined so many gyms over the years and paid thousands of dollars in membership fees, but always with the same result; go once in a while when I'm "in the mood" for exercise, but never really setting realistic goals or following through on them. And I've tried every diet on the planet. Thing is, they don't work unless you actually follow them. And at my age, my metabolism is so screwed up that I really need a jump start, a drastic move, to get things underway.

So I bit the bullet and signed up for Boot Camp. A 12-week program, three days a week, plus two days of "free" cardio training, including a nutrition consultation monthly, metabolic screenings, the whole nine yards. Tonight was my first class. I almost bailed on it. Not because I'm afraid of the exercise, just the other people who signed up. Would they judge me? Could I keep up? Would I pass out and make a complete fool of myself? I went and it wasn't nearly as bad as I thought it would be. When I showed up there were already a couple of young, fit women chatting with the Trainer. Obviously they do this program every 12-week session and had their cute work out "uniforms" on, size 2(ish), so that was annoying. But soon other, not-so-fit women showed up and I felt some better. The class was outside, and of course it was raining and cold. Great! We ran laps in the parking lot, did stretches with weights, moved our bodies in ways I didn't think I could still do (lunges, squats, backward squats, backward lunges) and to finish off a series of planks, push ups, sit ups and a cool down. The hour passed remarkably fast and I didn't pass out once!  Here we go. After all of this work, I better fit into my "skinny" jeans by summer. Once I meet with my nutritionist, I'll post some tips and pointers she passes along for "those of age" to speed up the sluggish metabolism. Is this really my life?

Food for Thought

Here's a great morning shake recipe that I think you'll all enjoy. It gives you all of the fruit and a portion of vegtables to get your day off to a great start! I make a double portion so when I get home from work I can grab the rest out of the frig to avoid my need to snack.

2 cups unsweetened apple juice
1and 1/2 cup frozen mixed berries (organic is best for you)
1/2 cup of fresh spinach
1 banana (I freeze my fresh ones when they get too ripe to eat, after cutting them into bite-sized pieces)

I use the Ninja, what I consider to be the best shake-making blender out there. The motor is on top and is easily removed, the blade pulls out and so the container is easy to clean and can be used as a pitcher. They have several varieties of these but I like the $39 version. I got mine from Target.

Blend everything together and pour half into a glass and drink first thing in the morning. I usually have a piece of whole grain toast with 1 tablespoon of all natural peanut butter to go with it.

Empty Nexting - What's Next After Everyone Else Leaves Home?

The year 2011 will go down in my personal history as the year of change. My oldest daughter graduated from Emerson College in Boston with a degree in Theater and moved to New York City to set the world on fire! My youngest daughter graduated from high school and moved to Los Angeles to begin her four-year studies at Columbia College, a prestigious film school. I live in Richmond, Virginia so about an eight hour car ride from NYC and a six hour plane ride from LA.  Aside from my career, I had dedicated pretty much the past 23 years to raising, nurturing, supporting and enjoying my two daughters and their friends.  I was already feeling pretty "empty-nested" when, two days after I left my "baby child" in LA, my husband of seven years asked me for a divorce. I had to find a new place to live, get my house ready to go on the market and rethink pretty much every aspect of my life. Wow - that just took empty nesting to a whole new level! The way I figured, I had a few choices of how I would react; I could do what felt most natural and curl up in the fetal position and never leave my room, I could check into a mental health facility and let the world pass me by, or I could pick myself up, brush myself off and start over. I have chosen the latter.

This blog is a way for me to document my empty nesting experience with the hopes that it will help someone else who may be going through a similar experience. It's my personal journey to discovering what's next for me. Hop on and let's enjoy the ride together!

Phase One - Where do I Want to Live?

For the past 18 years where I lived was in direct correlation to a proper school district. Now, for the first time in a long time, it was really all about what I wanted. As great as that sounds, it really isn't that easy to figure out when you haven't thought about anything YOU wanted for a long time... I began the task of not just house-hunting, but location scouting as well. For the past seven years I'd been living about 30 minutes each way from my job on three acres of land in a 4,000 square foot home in Hanover County near Ashland, Virginia with one of the best school districts in the State. I loved that house and I loved that area. But if I could live ANYWHERE in Richmond, I always thought I'd want to move back to the Fan, where I lived when I attended Virginia Commonwealth University in the seventies and early eighties. So that's where I began my search.

Turns out I'm not so into traffic, parking on the street, noise and city smells anymore. After driving around and looking at a few row houses, I decided I should reconsider. A lot of my friends really like living downtown, so that was my next stop. A high-rise condo complex seemed really cool; ultra modern layouts, gym facilities, covered parking all seemed great, but taking an elevator up and down every time you need to go outside was a turn off. I have a dog that needs walking and isn't always patient so that factored in as well. Plus, I discovered I prefer cozy over cool, who knew? I always have thought of myself as a really "cool", hip person, so this discovery threw me off a bit. I did like the concept of being close to things and having the option of walking to some places. The Libby and Grove area seemed perfect for that - but I really wanted to rent for a year and try and figure it all out. There aren't a lot of rental options in the Libby and Grove area, fyi, so I was stumped again.

Remember, this all happened in a week because when I have a job at hand I don't mess around! I wanted to move out and move on so this search was my number one priority. I found a place online that looked perfect. In the City, but near the West End (and my job), within walking distance of several great restaurants and even a 7-Elevan, but nestled back off the street in a planned-community setting. My oldest daughter came home for the weekend to come to my rescue as she had done so many times before, and we visited in person, took the tour and fell in love! The complex is a well-maintained, high-end townhome community with Country Club amenities like gym, pool, in-house theater and game room and I could get a three bedroom over looking the private 6-acre park complete with a gated dog park - sold! As I said, it surprises me that I chose this over the trendy, cool downtown option, but for me, for now, this works. I've lived here for two months and it's starting to feel like home. Cool! And cozy.

Getting to Know Yourself, All Over Again

That leads me to Phase 2 of empty nesting, getting reacquainted with who you are. Ends up this wasn't the only shocker I was in store for. A lot has changed about my tastes and needs over these past 23 years and every day of my Empty Nesting experience brings a new surprise my way.  Here are a few things I've learned about myself in the two months since my Empty Nexting journey began:

• I like to get up early; this is a real shocker to me since I've never been a morning person. I have really enjoyed getting up early and having time to relax with my dog, Ninja and a cup of coffee. Not having to rush is one of the best things I've discovered about empty nesting. It's well worth that hour of sleep you aren't getting.
• I still love Nirvana - don't judge me!
• I really missed writing. I was an advertising writer for most of my career and for the past seven years I've had another kind of advertising job, which I love. I recently discovered that I have really missed putting my thoughts down on paper (albeit computer paper). So that's how this blog began. I am so happy to be writing again that I can't tell you the difference it's making in my personality. Lesson to others - don't give up things that you love because you "just don't have the time". If you love it, make the time.
• I need to work out - one look in a full length mirror was an eye opener. I have let my body get the best of me and it's time to fix it. 'Nuf said.
• I love to cook, even if it's just me eating it. That's probably how the last bullet happened, but I am discovering all kinds of awesome recipes that fit a healthy lifestyle. See my recipe section to follow.
• I don't really need TV to survive. I thought I did because I was spending most of my free time on the couch watching some Reality TV show. Now entire days go by with me not even turning the television set on. CRAZY!

Weekly Recipes


Cooking for one really can be fun! I am challenging myself to come up with a new recipe each week to share with you, but mainly to test out on myself. It's challenging to cook for one because I'm not a left-overs person. So what I'm experimenting with is ways to turn the left-overs into a different meal. Here's what I mean:


Sunday Shrimp Stir-Fry


8 medium sized shrimp, shelled and deveined
2 table spoons of Canola Oil
1/4 lb pea pods
1 small green pepper
1 small orange pepper ( I really like these but you can use red, yellow, whatever color you prefer!)
4 green onions, sliced white and green parts (I use these because they contain less sodium than other types of onions)
1 teaspoon of corn starch
1/4 cup of low sodium soy sauce
Black pepper to taste (you shouldn't need salt due to the sodium content in even the low sodium soy sauce and broth)

Mix cornstarch and soy sauce throughly and set aside.
Heat the oil in a medium sized skillet on medium heat until fragrant. Add shrimp and peppers and stir gently with a wooden spoon  until shrimp turns pink, about 5 minutes. Add onions and pea pods and cook an additional 3 minutes. Push shrimp and veggies to one side and add cornstarch mixture. Stir until slightly thickened and mix with shrimp and veggies.

Serve 1/2 of this with 1/2 cup of whole grain rice cooked according to package instructions. I sub half of the water with low sodium vegtable broth - try it! Put the other half in a sealed container for...

Monday Night Shrimp Wraps


Use the remaining shrimp/veggie mixture from above for these filling and yummy wraps.

1 spinach tortilla (again, use whatever color you prefer, I like the spinach version the best but tomato basil is also a great choice)
1 tablespoon red pepper humus
1/3 cup of fresh sprouts
Romano cheese

Heat shrimp mixture and tortilla in microwave, toaster oven or saute pan until warm.
Spread humus on warm tortilla and put shrimp mixture, sprouts and cheese in the center
Wrap like a burrito with ends folded inward to keep the good stuff from spilling out
Cut in half. Leftovers never tasted this good!