You've Got This

I've been spending time in retrospective thought recently. You reach a certain age, it's different for different people, when you take inventory of your life, match up where you are and what you've accomplished against your goals and what you set out to do. Admittedly, I'm immature, so perhaps this milestone has taken me longer to reach than my peers.

This year I'm turning 60. How the hell did that happen? 60 is officially AARP, Senior Citizen Discount, Old AF. Thing is, I don't feel any different than I did at 40. When I look in the mirror I still like what I see. I can still lift a fair amount of weights, walk a few miles a day, and get into my clothes from 5 years ago. I'm in good health, and I have more energy than most of my much-younger friends. But for some reason this milestone is going to take me by storm, I just know it. Mainly because of the gap in my goal/achievement analysis.

The truth is, I've achieved a lot in my life so far. Just not in the way I thought I would. When I was young, I had such high hopes, lofty goals, idealistic expectations. Don't we all? Then life happens. We get married, start families, get jobs, buy houses and cars, and somewhere along the line our dreams change. Our expectations turn inward. What we thought we wanted isn't what we end up caring about. But as our lives change, we often fail to update our goals. So we're left comparing what we set out to do in our 20's with what we've ended up with in our 60's. Not fair!

So what, I haven't written the great American novel (yet). I've written a lot of really good advertising, and people still pay me to write. I don't have a beach house in Malibu. But I've lived in and owned 7 amazing homes in Charlottesville, Austin, Texas, Richmond, and Hanover. I don't have a husband. But I've had two really good ones. And my greatest accomplishment of all are my two brilliant, caring, funny, talented, and ambitious daughters who call me Momma.

I wouldn't trade them for any other accomplishment in the world. I see in them their hopes, high expectations, lofty goals, and while I have every confidence that they will live out their dreams and have amazing lives, I hope at some point they cut themselves a break if, like me, their goals shift and their dreams turn inward to things like a cozy home, a happy marriage, a decent living. There is nothing wrong with that, and I wish society would stop making everyone feel bad about it.

Here's what a good day for me looks like:

• I write and produce an ad that I think is awesome and then get-first round approval from my client...sometimes they even say "I love it."
• I come home to my loving Raven (cat) and Ninja (dog) who greet me at the door with wagging tails and the occasional love bite (from Raven).
• It's a pretty day out, so Ninja and I take a long stroll around the neighborhood. I stop at the community garden and pick some fresh herbs to put in whatever I'm making for dinner.
• If a neighbor friend wants to, we stroll down the street to one of our favorite bars and have a beer before the sun sets.
• I use the fresh produce I bought from the local farmer's market to cook up something tasty for dinner.
• After dinner, I sit on my porch and watch the stars for a bit.
• Before bed I watch an episode of some new show on Netflix, 
• Or, if I'm especially fortunate, I am inspired to write a chapter for my novel that it's in the works.
• Before bed, I thank my lucky stars for the life I have and the people who I love who love me back.

That's a good day. And we should all be grateful for these simple-life moments that make us smile, whatever yours are.

And speaking of simple and good, here is a sweet new recipe I tried during the 4-solid days of rain this weekend. It's Fall in a bowl. Try it with a fresh baguette, toasted every so slightly, a cup of brown rice or quinoa, and a glass of good Chardonnay.

A Moment In Time - Take 2

I am reposting this blog from 2015 in honor of Martin Luther King's birthday. A random writer's group meet up turned into one of the most amazing experiences of my life. I believe this experience has even more meaning today than it did for me three years ago. Here is the recap of what happened that turned a reluctant outing into a moment in time...

There was nothing at all extraordinary about this day.  I had an average day at work, a few highs and lows but nothing special. It has been a rainy day but not nearly as bad as the weather channel predicted. After work I had a writer's workshop to attend. I wasn't looking forward to it - honestly the day wore me out and I just wanted to crash on the sofa with Gone Girl, my current book obsession. But I haven't attended this workshop before, and I felt I needed some social interaction, I've been in a bit of a loner funk lately, so I forced myself to go.

I drove nearly 30 minutes, crossed the James River even. There were four people there when I arrived including the chair of the meet up, George. George is an editor and has given me really valuable edits on several of my short stores over Google Docs but we had never met. He was older than I expected, a bit more quiet and unassuming than he came across on line. Among the other group members were two middle-aged women and a young grad student. We started the session by reading dialogue out loud from one of the women's novel drafts. It was fun and a really great way to test the validity of one's written dialogue. The sequence was a Tarot Card reading, something I actually know a thing or two about so I could provide some valuable feedback. We then helped talk the grad student through some edits on his application to VCU for a teacher's assistant position. It is much harder to write about yourself sometimes than to write fiction. Next the group offered George some feedback on a memoir  he is working on from the Grandfather of one of his students; George is a volunteer tutor for under privileged and/or handicapped kids. The memoir was fascinating. The Grandfather was a journalist in the 1960's and had covered a Martin Luther King church rally some 53 years ago in Cleveland, Ohio; eight months before Doctor King's assassination.

The most amazing thing happened next. George told us he had a big surprise for us. The Grandfather had not just covered the rally, but had actually tape recorded (reel to reel) Doctor King's speech. It had never been released to the public. George then did an amazing thing. He played us the speech! Other than the 5,000 people who attended the rally 53 years ago and George and his wife, we were the only other people to have ever heard this speech. We set there in silence; four strangers sharing this monumental moment, 23 to be exact. By the end of it we were all in tears, shaking a little and feeling like we had experienced a huge moment in history. I was so pumped leaving that meeting - I felt like I was on cloud nine. I wanted to shout it to the world what I had just experienced.

This seemed like a moment that was just screaming to be shared, but I had no one available to share it with. It was past bed time for my mom. My daughter in LA was in class. My oldest was in rehearsal for a play. So I'm sharing this with you and I hope I can do some minor justice to just how wonderful this moment was for me.

 I wish you could have heard Doctor King's voice, the crowd in the background, the fever in the air. Every word was a piece of pure genius. My favorite line in the speech though was when Doctor King said every man should have something he holds so dear that he is willing to die for it…

"If you are 35 and you let a moment go by and don't fight for something you truly believe in and you live to be 80, you were just as dead at 35 as you will be at 80."

Thank you Doctor King for reminding me to make my life have purpose. And thank YOU for sharing this moment with me.

Time To Turn Your Hobby Into a Day Job?

Aurthor's Note:
After a six-month sabbatical from blogging, I was pleasantly surprised to get tons of requests for a new post from my followers. It warmed my heart to know that you missed our little "chats". I missed it as well, but have been busy getting my new life in Raleigh/Durham together. Never an easy feat. More about all of that later. To get me back on track, I asked for suggestions from you about topics you'd like to have addressed,  and I promised the first requester that I'd make my first new post about their topic. I was excited when I read the request to write about turning a hobby into a job. While I've never personally attempted it, I know a lot of people who have and even more who wish they could. Thank you Barb Harvil for your suggestion!
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Time To Turn Your Hobby Into a Day Job?

If you've been thinking about turning that hobby you enjoy so much into a money-maker, there are a few things you should ask yourself. First and foremost, how hard do you really want to work? Next question you should consider is how long can you go without making a profit?  A lot of us empty-nesters are re-evaluating our lives, especially when it comes to work. Some of us have "down-sized" our careers and taken a lesser job  - less stress, less income, less advancement potential, etc. Others have retired all together and are enjoying volunteerism, travel, spending time with family. And then there are those who either have taken the plunge,  or who are considering making the leap and turning their hobby into their job. That's the focus of today's blog post.

I have a friend in Richmond, Virginia who always dreamed of opening a cafe'. Nothing elaborate, just a little coffee house with some baked goods, open mic night, maybe the occasional lunch special. When he investigated the concept, he realized just how big this dream actually was. Even the simplest concept requires a major investment to get it off the ground. The cost of renting the space, in his case he also rented the equipment, paying the staff, finding a reliable source for the product(s). All in all, his initial investment, not counting salary was around $35,000. Add paying staff and giving himself a salary, and he was out about $100,000 first year. Even though the business is doing really well, he admits it will probably take him about 5 years before he will see a return on his investment. That's okay for him, because he counted on it, planned for it, and could sustain himself and his family during the build up process. He is  open 7a.m. to 3p.m. 4 days a week, and 7a.m. to 6p.m. Saturday and Sunday. Because he had a very demanding career, his hours now are actually a whole lot better than they were. It's a family business so he and his wife get to spend more time together, and the most stressful part of his day is when one of the coffee machines breaks down. So for my friend, making the move from hobby to job has been largely successful and fulfilling.

I have another friend in Charleston South Carolina who loves to cook and decided to try a second career in food services after he retired from his corporate job. He bought a food truck and became an on-the-road BBQ shop.  His initial investment was right around $100,000 as well. While business is booming, the hours suck. He said just to keep up with demand, he's working pretty much 6a.m to midnight, 6 days a week. That schedule works for him, but it wouldn't be sustainable for everyone.

Before you go whole hog, it may be a good idea to start off small. Keep your day job, and start on a very small scale working toward your future job. A young female friend of mine wanted to open a vintage dress shop, but, like most young people today, she is loaded up with student loan debt and isn't making top dollar at her entry level marketing job. She had accumulated a ton of really cool vintage clothes, and enjoyed shopping for that perfect piece. So she started a monthly Pop Up sale on line. She created a name and logo, built a very basic website connected with Pay Pal, and about a week before her "sale" she'd advertise on all of her social media sites, ask her friends to share the post, etc.. It started off slow. One piece would sell here and there. Then she ramped up her photos of the clothes and started writing descriptive stories about where the dress may have been worn in the 20's, what the woman had for dinner while wearing the charming 1950's hat and gloves, etc. Now she has a mobile shop that travels to festivals, parks, farmer's markets, just like a food truck. She recently quit her "day job" and is doing this full time. It took here about 4 years to get it up and running, but now her hobby IS her job. It can be done.

As much as I'd love to be my own boss, for me it's best to keep my hobbies as just that. The minute I am 100% dependent on any of my hobbies to actually pay my rent, the minute it becomes just a job. That's me, though. So for now, I'm going to keep cooking and dreaming up recipes, not for money, for the delightful end results! Here is one of my latest creations. Enjoy, and thanks for reading!

Roasted garlic and mozzarella scrambled egg with fresh organic tomatoes
2 eggs, beaten until yolks are broken up
1/4 cup of evaporated milk
2 tbl of butter
1/4 cup of mozzarella cheese
1 clove of garlic shopped and roasted
1 tbl olive oil, extra virgin
2 slices of your favorite tomato.
1 piece of sour dough bread, lightly buttered and sprinkled with parmesan cheese on both sides

Roast the garlic in a sauce pan with olive oil for about 30 seconds. Remove and set aside.

Beat egg, milk, salt and pepper in a small bowl.  Melt butter in a sauce pan and swirl to cover the bottom of the pan. Mix the roasted garlic into your egg mixture and scramble for about 2 minutes or until egg is cooked the way you like it. Remove the egg mixture and use the same pan to lightly "toast" your bread. Cook for under 1 minute on each side. Put the eggs on a plate, top with two slices of tomato, and your sour dough toast. It's okay if you want some catsup, sriracha, or worcestershire sauce, but you really don't need a thing, well, other than coffee..

Empty Nexting: How Low Can We Go?

Empty Nexting: How Low Can We Go?: So, I know I said I'd stop with the political posts, but I just have to get this off my chest. Recently our President, Donald Trump, ...

How Low Can We Go?

So, I know I said I'd stop with the political posts, but I just have to get this off my chest.

Recently our President, Donald Trump, delivered a speech to Congress. It was a decent performance. He didn't snort, racially insult anyone, or act like a child. He looked professional and spoke "Presidentially". The thing that has my panties in a wad is that the press, Congress, and just about everyone else on this planet is making a HUGE, pardon the pun, big freakin' deal about it.

Is our bar really that low? Why are we shocked, excited and proud that the President of the United States acted, well, Presidential? That seems like the very least we should expect from him. It's a reminder of just how "off" we are all as a nation right now. I'm concerned that we have already become conditioned to the fact that we should expect the worse from the person we elected as our leader. I don't like the new bar, and I want it raised! I'm not alone, but as much as we try to "resist", here is what we are dealing with...

• We still have not seen Mr. Trump's tax returns. Why is this a big deal? Well, I'll tell you. Every American citizen is held accountable to the IRS to file our taxes and pay what we owe. Shouldn't our highest office be as accountable as the lowest common denominator? It is also clear that Mr. Trump has something to hide, or else we'd seen it by now. Dealings with Russia? China? Perhaps even some of those "extreme Islamic" nations that have been banned from traveling to the U.S.? Who knows! But we SHOULD know and more importantly, we should CARE! Why don't we? Why isn't every member of Congress, at the very least, DEMANDING the release of these tax records?
• Russian Involvement in the Election. Why the HELL hasn't our Congress and Senate DEMANDED this issue be settled and addressed? This is all-out war and yet we are giving Russia, and Mr. Trump, a pass on this? Come on, what is going on? If YOU care about this issue, and you SHOULD, write, call, hound, harass your elected officials until something is done about this monstrosity! 
• Our Environment - Do I have to remind all of you about Al Gore and Global Warming?? It's real, people, and we just allowed our new President to dismantle the only agency in charge of making sure we don't blow up our planet! I'm shocked and amazed at how little this issue has been covered by our press and how many people don't seem to give a crap about this.
• Our Health and Security - I'm a baby boomer and one of millions who was hoping that the hundreds of thousands of dollars I've put into my Social Security would help supplement my retirement. Fat chance of that happening now, and NOBODY seems to care! Millions of people are about to go without medical coverage, what does that mean? Disease, decay, death, you name it. It isn't acceptable in a third world country, but we are not fighting it here in the US of A?

I could go on and on, but I think I've made my point. We as the American people should hold all of our leaders, especially our President, to the highest standards and expectations. Instead we are lowering the bar just because Mr. Trump cries like a little baby when the media doesn't agree with him. Points his little fingers at the military when a decision HE made caused the loss of a life. Bullies and grunts his way over anybody who gets in his way. I say that's all the more reason to raise the bar! In my experience, people who point the finger at others and go on the defensive over the most minor of conflicts are usually the ones most guilty. Let's hold him accountable! All of the hard core right wingers are saying "give him a chance"....A chance to what, be our next dictator?

I don't like bullies. Never have. When I was a kid there was this guy, much bigger than the rest of us, who used to guard the merry-go-round. When we would be brave enough to get on, in spite of him, he'd run so fast that we would all fly off of it onto the ground. We told the teacher on him. Nothing. We told our parents about him. Nothing. I hated that he controlled my most favorite part of the play ground. I was very small for my age, and kind of quiet. But one day I got on that merry-go-round and planted my feet under the bar, held on as tightly as I could, and dared him to toss me off. He tried and tried and couldn't. It made him so angry. But then, something incredible happened. He stopped running and jumped off. It was no longer fun for him to bully us when somebody stood up to him.

Stand up to our new leader, let him know that no matter which side of the fence (or Wall) you're on, you demand answers to the questions he is refusing to answer. Let him know the bar is raising! He wanted this office and he got it, now if he wants to stay on the merry-go-round, he's going to have to face the fact that we are hanging on to our rights as tightly as we can, and we aren't going to let him toss off off balance.

There are new Resistance movements forming all over the country. Join one. Get involved. Be a part of the solution to this problem that we created. Hang on with all your strength and stand up to this bully.  We've got this!

Just the Facts Please

This is not a political blog site and I have carefully steered clear of that topic in the past. So when I say this will not be a political statement I'm making, I truly mean it. This is a HUMAN statement. I'm not liberal. I'm not conservative. I've always voted based on the issues at hand and the character of the candidate. But I believe we are on the verge of another civil war in this country, and I believe we will all suffer if it is not stomped out quickly.

Friday, 1/20/17, will go down in history but for all of the wrong reasons. I've had to de-friend nearly 50 people on Facebook over this presidential election. Not because of who they support or who they voted for, but due to the extreme, over-the-top hatred that has emerged. Mr Trump has opened up a sore that has been festering among a segment of our population for the past, oh 50 years. And that sore has come to a boil and burst and the goo is getting all over us right now.

For the first time since the Civil Rights movement, a segment of our population suddenly feels empowered and proud to tout their racism. For the first time since the Women's Movement, a segment of our population is openly casting their vote for sexual assault against women. For the first time since the creation of the United Nations, a portion of this country is saying we don't need to play nice with our foreign allies. Whether or not Mr. Trump intended this movement is yet to be determined. But he started it and it's on him to grab it by the ur, um, "balls" and wring it off the face of the American soil.

As a Mass Communications Major, another movement that is emerging frightens me even more than the above. Freedom of the Press. Mr. Trump does not like it. He in fact despises it. It's gotten to the point where none of us really believe anything the press is saying because it is a bi-polar media right now. Either you are for the Trump Movement or you are against it, it appears. Fox, Vox, CNN, MSN, even Buzzfeed and The Wall Street Journal have been under fire for and accused of "fake news". Folks, this isn't a matter to take likely. Freedom of Speech and truth in news reporting are basic differences between the American system and Communists countries. If we can no longer trust the news, we are, pardon my French, "Fucked."

This problem didn't appear out of no where and Mr. Trump didn't create it. He just USED it to get himself elected to the highest office in the nation, perhaps the entire world. His team did their research, and they uncovered this movement. They crafted messaging to target this audience and tapped into the raw hatred that was festering around the nation. They were brilliant in their advertising and Mr. Trump stayed true to the character he is portraying - average white guy. Anyone who has ever watched TV knows that Donald Trump is no average white guy. He is also not a conservative. It didn't matter though because the advertising was so brilliant and the marketing was so strong and the audience was so ready for "THEIR" views to be represented, that they didn't care if the character was a fake.

But the Trump campaign  did something even more powerful. They studied the liberal audience too. They found the flaws of apathy, politeness, political correctness, and used those against them. I think it's fair to say they used everything in their means, the FBI, perhaps even a relationship with Russia, to make Ms. Clinton look like a villain. They created a shadow of a doubt that maybe, just maybe, she was worse then Mr. Trump in character. So those voters on the fence stayed home. Or threw their vote to an Independent Candidate with no chance of winning.

Ms. Clinton failed partly because she was too qualified for the job. For the first time in history being prepared, experienced, networked and groomed for a position was seen as a negative thing. Accident? I think not. I think the Trump campaign created that illusion. You have to admit, it was an incredibly brilliant move. I doubt they even realized how smart it was. I'm sure it was a Hail Mary attempt to get a candidate with absolutely no experience in governing and a flawed public image to have a snow-ball's chance in hell to compete with a candidate with Ms. Clinton's background and experience. Bravo, it worked.

But now what? Mr. Trump is our President. He has made promises to the population of haters who think white men have been wronged in some way because men and women of color have received basic rights. He has appointed a cabinet of characters who also play that part. Over 3 million Americans voted for the other "guy", so we are a nation divided. There is no compromise on basic human rights. The liberals have decided to throw manners out of the window. Women are showing that they will not sit back quietly and take it. Shit is getting real, real fast.

On Facebook many Trump supporters are asking for FACTS. Show me facts that Donald Trump supports racism. Show me facts that Donald Trump is a womanizer. Show me facts that Russia played a part in the election. Problem is, when facts are given, these supporters say it's just the liberal media making "fake news". Folks, the facts came right out of Mr. Trump's own mouth. So when the media shows video of Mr. Trump saying "...grab her by the pussy. You can do anything you want." these same supporters, many of them women, say "that's just locker room talk. Don't pretend you haven't heard that before." I'm 57 years old, grew up with a house full of men, hang out with mostly men and I can honestly say I have never heard anyone say that, ever. Even if they had of said it, none of them are President of the Free World. I have been raped. Many women I know have been raped or assaulted in some way by a man. These words that came out of our President's own mouth bring back those horrible memories. It makes me afraid, all over again. That isn't me being political, or a crybaby, or emotional. That is me, being a woman, afraid that the message being delivered by the highest office in the country is that it's okay to abuse women. It isn't okay. It has never been okay. And I do not understand you women out there who support those words by that man. That's a fact.

What's done is done. Trump's campaign beat Clinton's campaign. We have a new President. We have a Conservative House and a Conservative Senate. We are about to have a Conservative Supreme Court. No checks and balances remain. This is now a one-party system, at least for the next two years. Fighting about it on the streets won't solve the problem. Writing hate posts on social media won't fix it either. What will fix it? We the People. We still have a voice. We need strong candidates to put in Congress in the next election. People with moral character. People who are passionate about our freedoms. If you are such a person, it's time for you to step up. Serve this country. Fight the hatred. We did it 50 years ago, we can do it again. This isn't a Liberal cry for help. This is a HUMAN cry for help.

If you are a member of the Press, speak the truth. Write the facts. Tell the stories you are seeing on the streets of America. Photo journalists, capture the moment. Stop playing into the hands of the haters by letting your emotions block you from the facts. Use social media to SHOW the facts.

If you are Donald Trump, seize this moment. You may have been playing a part that your campaign asked you to play to get elected, but you are in charge now. You have a choice. Either you can go down in history as the President that helped cause a civil, racial, gender war in America. Or you can go down in history as the President who brought the country together again. I know you are all about the ratings, so if you don't care from a moral place, I'm hoping you will care about your approval score. You must have seen how many women, and men, marched across the nation yesterday against what your campaign stood for. Make your daughters proud. Say "screw you" to the people who got you elected and be your own man. Be a good man. Rise to the occasion. Give the media something positive to say about you, that isn't FAKE NEWS.  Stop being a Bully. It isn't allowed on social media and you could get kicked off twitter. Make America Great Again, by stopping this hate movement that you helped to create.  Please. And thank you.

All Roads Lead to Lumberton...

Growing up in the south, I've experienced my share of hurricanes. So when my city, Charleston, SC, was evacuated due to hurricane Mathew I wasn't that alarmed. I packed my dog, Ninja, a cooler with water and food, a big flashlight and extra batteries, and drove North to Richmond, Virginia where I have family and friends. No big deal.

The extra two days to the long weekend was refreshing. Richmond weather was nice, a little over cast, but no rain. I had a blast with my daughter and some of my friends. And Charleston didn't end up getting hit as badly as anticipated so my friends who stayed behind where safe and sound. I had planned to stay in Richmond until Monday or Tuesday, but the weather report was good, sun was shining in Richmond and my Charleston friends said the coast was clear to come home. So I started my journey, which under normal circumstances takes about 6.5 hours. I left Sunday morning around 10a.m., top down in my convertible, sun shining, a little breeze, traffic was light, piece of cake, right? Well, yes, for about 2.5 hours it was.

I passed this gas station right before the Dam broke

Then my adventure began. And when I say adventure, I mean the absolute most terrifying experience of my life. You see, what the news had not warned and GPS had not alerted was that interstate 95 was shut down just past Raleigh, NC due to flooding and debris. For those of you who do not know, 95 is the only major highway that takes you North to South. Thousands of people who had been evacuated from deep south and who had sought safety further north were now all trying to get home, only to find out that the main way home was closed down. And they detoured us all through a little-known town called Lumberton, North Carolina. Barely a dot on the map.

Okay, no worries, safety in numbers. I wasn't alone, not really. There were 18-wheelers, other evacuees like me, some folks heading south for vacation, etc. And I had GPS so I was good, I thought. My friends who were reaching out to me as the news updates hit the wave lengths, were telling me a variety of different things. "95 is open past Fayetteville" was the biggest of the inaccuracies.  Still, I was hopeful. I had filled up my gas tank in Raleigh, thankfully, I had water, it was still early in the day, around 2pm when I started my Lumberton nightmare, and the sun was still shining.

What no one could have predicted was that the marshes in North Carolina were already saturated and the dam walls were weak. So as the day went on things got progressively worse. Roads that showed "open" on Waze and GPS were closing on a dime. Through the little town of Lumberton, Google Maps and Waze tried desperately to find me a road out. Each detour I took led me to yet another flooded road. No police, no fire trucks, no blockades anywhere. Just water, rising higher and higher with each "dead end". And Lumberton was completely "dark", no electricity at all. In most cases my GPS wasn't even working due to lines down. And no gas. Not a drop. Anywhere. After a long search, I found a way out on route 72 South. I was in a long line of vehicles, bumper to bumper to get to the highway, which was the only way out that wasn't flooded. From about 4:30 pm to 8:30pm I waited in line, moving every few minutes for an inch or two. I was about 5 miles from the clear when I heard a loud roaring and saw water jet up in the air ahead. Immediately the line of vehicles starting turning around and as a truck passed the driver yelled out "Turn around fast - the Dam broke!"

Remember, I was in a sports car....

By this time I was down to 1/4 tank of gas, had no place to stay (all hotels were either sold out or closed, remember no electricity in the entire area), and it was dark. Looting had begun and shit was getting real.  Ninja was crying, I was trying to keep it together, and all of my friends kept calling with advice on how to get out.

They meant well, but the reality was not portrayed on TV, GPS, or anywhere else because it was happening minute by minute. I decided my best bet was to try and get back to The Holiday Inn I had passed a few miles (and hours) back and sleep in my car in the parking lot. I figured I'd be safer there than on the side of the street.  When I got to the hotel, there were tons of people hanging around outside by the lobby area. I went in to see what was going on and found that they were allowing stranded people to camp out in the lobby, handing out water, pillows and blankets. It was a miracle, and I felt so lucky to have a safe place to sleep. But I didn't want to leave Ninja in the car alone, so I took my pillow and blanket and went to crash in the car with her.  Then the nicest thing happened. An elderly and frail woman who worked the front desk knocked on my car window. "I don't want to scare you, but this is a really bad part of town and you shouldn't sleep in your car here," she said. "I found you a room. There's no electricity but if you have a flash light I can get you in, and you can bring your dog too." It was then that I was reminded of how sometimes when things get bad good people pop up. She was a good person, and not the last one I'd find on my journey home.

After a little sleep, Ninja and I headed out to find gas. Someone told me there was gas available in Fayetteville, about 45 minutes North. If I could get to Fayetteville I could get gas, and then I'd regroup and find a way out of this crazy town. By now I was convinced the Zombie Apocalypse was real and I was living it. Fayetteville DID have electricity, but after three stops I was beginning to doubt if there was any gas. I followed signs to the Airport figuring there would be more gas stations on that route. I finally saw one, with a man pumping gas, just as my gas light came on in my car. Fingers crossed, I waited in a short line hoping they wouldn't run out before I could get some. When it was my turn, I filled my tank and paid with my credit card. The man pumping gas next me, a mid forties Afro  American male, asked me where I was headed. When I told him Charleston, he said "Mam' you can't get there from here,  but you've gotta get out of HERE." He went on to tell me that I was safer fighting the hurricane than staying in this part of Fayetteville. As he put it, I was in between Crackhouse row and Prostitution Lane. Okay then. Time to go back to Lumberton because 95 was shut down both North and South.

This wasn't under water on Sunday when I passed it twice...

I was not going to spend another night in Lumberton. From the looks of things this town wasn't going to see electricity or clear roads for at least a week. I think they are still out. So I did what any stranded traveler should do - I looked for 18-wheelers. I found a row of them parked in the Wal-Mart parking lot and a group of other travelers had gathered around. One of the drivers had a real map, imagine that! We forged a union and came up with two ways out - the most desirable one taking 701 toward Myrtle Beach. The truckers couldn't make it because of the side roads, so about 6 vehicles including mine formed a convoy and headed out. After a a couple hours of driving through back roads, we saw a sign that said Myrtle Beach 20 miles. I was so excited! It was only about 11a.m. so I knew I'd be back to Charleston by 2 or 3. But the Universe wasn't done screwing with us. Just about 15 miles from Myrtle, 701 flooded. We had to regroup and turn around to try our alternate route. We lost two vehicles at this point because they were about to run out of gas and needed to find a place to refuel. Sadly, everyone with electricity was out of gas it seemed. An Uber Driver from Myrtle Beach led the way and we tried our backup plan - take 421 to Wilmington, really far out of the way but hey we didn't have any other choice, and then 17 South to Myrtle, 17 South to Charleston. This time it worked. I made it back to Charleston by 7:00pm Monday night. I was pumped with adrenaline and it hadn't quite hit me just how lucky I was to be home. Ninja, however, was astutely aware as she crawled under my bed and stayed there all night.

I learned many things from this experience. First and foremost, pay better attention to the warnings and do not drive the day after a hurricane no matter what other people are telling you. But most importantly, I learned that there are good people left in the world. Just when you think you are alone and things can't improve, somebody proves you wrong. The hotel lobby worker at The Holiday Inn, the man at the gas station, and the Uber driver from Myrtle Beach all came to my rescue. As did my friends. One in particular who texted me throughout the entire ordeal and joked with me and made me feel almost normal. Almost.

I also learned that I would never want to live in Lumberton, North Carolina, not even on a good day.