You've Got This

I've been spending time in retrospective thought recently. You reach a certain age, it's different for different people, when you take inventory of your life, match up where you are and what you've accomplished against your goals and what you set out to do. Admittedly, I'm immature, so perhaps this milestone has taken me longer to reach than my peers.

This year I'm turning 60. How the hell did that happen? 60 is officially AARP, Senior Citizen Discount, Old AF. Thing is, I don't feel any different than I did at 40. When I look in the mirror I still like what I see. I can still lift a fair amount of weights, walk a few miles a day, and get into my clothes from 5 years ago. I'm in good health, and I have more energy than most of my much-younger friends. But for some reason this milestone is going to take me by storm, I just know it. Mainly because of the gap in my goal/achievement analysis.

The truth is, I've achieved a lot in my life so far. Just not in the way I thought I would. When I was young, I had such high hopes, lofty goals, idealistic expectations. Don't we all? Then life happens. We get married, start families, get jobs, buy houses and cars, and somewhere along the line our dreams change. Our expectations turn inward. What we thought we wanted isn't what we end up caring about. But as our lives change, we often fail to update our goals. So we're left comparing what we set out to do in our 20's with what we've ended up with in our 60's. Not fair!

So what, I haven't written the great American novel (yet). I've written a lot of really good advertising, and people still pay me to write. I don't have a beach house in Malibu. But I've lived in and owned 7 amazing homes in Charlottesville, Austin, Texas, Richmond, and Hanover. I don't have a husband. But I've had two really good ones. And my greatest accomplishment of all are my two brilliant, caring, funny, talented, and ambitious daughters who call me Momma.

I wouldn't trade them for any other accomplishment in the world. I see in them their hopes, high expectations, lofty goals, and while I have every confidence that they will live out their dreams and have amazing lives, I hope at some point they cut themselves a break if, like me, their goals shift and their dreams turn inward to things like a cozy home, a happy marriage, a decent living. There is nothing wrong with that, and I wish society would stop making everyone feel bad about it.

Here's what a good day for me looks like:

• I write and produce an ad that I think is awesome and then get-first round approval from my client...sometimes they even say "I love it."
• I come home to my loving Raven (cat) and Ninja (dog) who greet me at the door with wagging tails and the occasional love bite (from Raven).
• It's a pretty day out, so Ninja and I take a long stroll around the neighborhood. I stop at the community garden and pick some fresh herbs to put in whatever I'm making for dinner.
• If a neighbor friend wants to, we stroll down the street to one of our favorite bars and have a beer before the sun sets.
• I use the fresh produce I bought from the local farmer's market to cook up something tasty for dinner.
• After dinner, I sit on my porch and watch the stars for a bit.
• Before bed I watch an episode of some new show on Netflix, 
• Or, if I'm especially fortunate, I am inspired to write a chapter for my novel that it's in the works.
• Before bed, I thank my lucky stars for the life I have and the people who I love who love me back.

That's a good day. And we should all be grateful for these simple-life moments that make us smile, whatever yours are.

And speaking of simple and good, here is a sweet new recipe I tried during the 4-solid days of rain this weekend. It's Fall in a bowl. Try it with a fresh baguette, toasted every so slightly, a cup of brown rice or quinoa, and a glass of good Chardonnay.