You know that gooey, icky kind of love where you can't stop touching and you hate being apart and you'd rather be together than with any of your other friends? That sick feeling when you have to be separated for more than a night? The stuff all of the romance novels and movies reflect but never happens to real people? I've witnessed that kind of love first hand and as annoying as it is to the rest of us it sure seems fulfilling to the two people involved. Lately I've been thinking a lot about that kind of love and wondering if I could even handle it! So much riding on that one other person scares me.
It all goes back to my parents. My parents where true soul-mates. They met when my Mom was 12 and my Dad was 14. My Dad, so the story goes, was smitten from the first time they met. He walked my Mom home from church, school, the store. They did a lot of walking back then and it gave him his opportunity. From their first date he would buy my Mom little cards with a house on the cover and would tell her that someday he'd build her that house and they would be married and live happily ever after. He brought her gifts for every date; candy, make up, flowers. And when my Mom was 17 and my Dad was 19 he asked my Grandfather for her hand in marriage. My Grandfather said, and I quote, "Boy, I'll see you in hell first." That night my father put a ladder up to my Mom's bedroom window and whisked her off to Maryland to get married. Storybook romance from beginning to end. They worked side by side to build the little house of their dreams. They partied together, played together, worked together, raised three children together, and up until my father died if he walked in a room and saw my mother he had to touch her, kiss her, tickle her, "goose" her (I know, it was really, really embarrassing as a child). They laughed a lot, kissed and hugged all of the time and it was incredible to watch.
Recently a friend of mine reminded me of my parents and their incredible love affair. She said it was the only real example of true love she had witnessed as a child and the impact it had on her when she visited my home was profound. It made me realize just how lucky I was to live in a house where that kind of love existed. It also gave me insight into the kind of pressure that probably put on me and my siblings on our quest for that perfect mate.
I never heard my parents fight. I never got to see them make up. I didn't experience first hand what it would be like to openly disagree and come to a resolution and be able to still love each other after. I think that is probably the root cause of most of my adult issues. Conflict management, relationship dull drones, too-high expectations are all because of my parents and their gooey, icky love affair. Go figure! Well at least my children can't blame me for that. They have witnessed many fights, two divorces and a host of commitment issues on my part. So they know exactly how NOT to be. I saw how TO be, but it takes more than knowledge; it takes finding that one person who really "completes" you. OMG, did I really just say that? Who am I and what happened to Debbie? Maybe it's the moon, or the fact that I am giving up sugar for Lent, or maybe it's due to Valentine's Day coming this week. All I know is that I all of a sudden think true love could be possible, and even desirable. To all of those out there married to your soul-mates, good for you! To those married to people who aren't your soul-mate but who you love anyway, extra special good for you! And to all of those jaded, love-losers like me, this is me, a fellow LL here to tell you there really is hope
No EmptyNexting blog would be complete without a great recipe and since we are talking about love I have to include something with chocolate. I haven't personally tried this but it sounds amazing. I hope you will love it, pun intended.
Recently a friend of mine reminded me of my parents and their incredible love affair. She said it was the only real example of true love she had witnessed as a child and the impact it had on her when she visited my home was profound. It made me realize just how lucky I was to live in a house where that kind of love existed. It also gave me insight into the kind of pressure that probably put on me and my siblings on our quest for that perfect mate.
I never heard my parents fight. I never got to see them make up. I didn't experience first hand what it would be like to openly disagree and come to a resolution and be able to still love each other after. I think that is probably the root cause of most of my adult issues. Conflict management, relationship dull drones, too-high expectations are all because of my parents and their gooey, icky love affair. Go figure! Well at least my children can't blame me for that. They have witnessed many fights, two divorces and a host of commitment issues on my part. So they know exactly how NOT to be. I saw how TO be, but it takes more than knowledge; it takes finding that one person who really "completes" you. OMG, did I really just say that? Who am I and what happened to Debbie? Maybe it's the moon, or the fact that I am giving up sugar for Lent, or maybe it's due to Valentine's Day coming this week. All I know is that I all of a sudden think true love could be possible, and even desirable. To all of those out there married to your soul-mates, good for you! To those married to people who aren't your soul-mate but who you love anyway, extra special good for you! And to all of those jaded, love-losers like me, this is me, a fellow LL here to tell you there really is hope
No EmptyNexting blog would be complete without a great recipe and since we are talking about love I have to include something with chocolate. I haven't personally tried this but it sounds amazing. I hope you will love it, pun intended.
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