It's funny how a simple, seemingly harmless question can sometimes spin you around. Recently a good friend of mine who is going through a really rough time asked me such a question. For the past several weeks it's really all I've been able to think about.
"What are you going to do with the rest of your life?"
Wow. Dead silence. Complete confusion. Followed by a sinking, sick feeling in the pit of my soul. Problem is I have absolutely no idea what I am going to do with the rest of my life. I do know that I have a lot of unfinished business. I have many things I wish I had accomplished by now and many more things that I'd like to explore. So after I picked myself up from the staggering realization that life IS short and time is running out, I decided to make a list. I don't want to call it a "Bucket List" because it's really much more than that. It's a "To Do" list because I don't see these objectives as optional. A Bucket List implies that you'd like to do these things before you die, but I view the entries on my list as Got-To-Do's. When I shared this dilemma with several of my friends they said things like, "but you've made so many changes already" or "you've gone through so much recently" or "you've got lots of time, silly". All true, but the following story and poem hit me and gave me a hard deadline:
When an old man died in the geriatric ward of a nursing home in an Australian country town, it was believed that he had nothing left of any value.
Later, when the nurses were going through his meagre possessions, They found this poem. Its quality and content so impressed the staff that copies were made and distributed to every nurse in the hospital.
One nurse took her copy to Melbourne. The old man's sole bequest to posterity has since appeared in the Christmas editions of magazines around the country and appearing in mags for Mental Health. A slide presentation has also been made based on his simple, but eloquent, poem.
And this old man, with nothing left to give to the world, is now the author of this 'anonymous' poem winging across the Internet.
Cranky Old Man
What do you see nurses? . . .. . .What do you see?
What are you thinking .. . when you're looking at me?
A cranky old man, . . . . . .not very wise,
Uncertain of habit .. . . . . . . .. with faraway eyes?
Who dribbles his food .. . ... . . and makes no reply.
When you say in a loud voice . .'I do wish you'd try!'
Who seems not to notice . . .the things that you do.
And forever is losing . . . . . .. . . A sock or shoe?
Who, resisting or not . . . ... lets you do as you will,
With bathing and feeding . . . .The long day to fill?
Is that what you're thinking?. .Is that what you see?
Then open your eyes, nurse .you're not looking at me.
I'll tell you who I am . . . . .. As I sit here so still,
As I do at your bidding, .. . . . as I eat at your will.
I'm a small child of Ten . .with a father and mother,
Brothers and sisters .. . . .. . who love one another
A young boy of Sixteen . . . .. with wings on his feet
Dreaming that soon now . . .. . . a lover he'll meet.
A groom soon at Twenty . . . ..my heart gives a leap.
Remembering, the vows .. .. .that I promised to keep.
At Twenty-Five, now . . . . .I have young of my own.
Who need me to guide . . . And a secure happy home.
A man of Thirty . .. . . . . My young now grown fast,
Bound to each other . . .. With ties that should last.
At Forty, my young sons .. .have grown and are gone,
But my woman is beside me . . to see I don't mourn.
At Fifty, once more, .. ...Babies play 'round my knee,
Again, we know children . . . . My loved one and me.
Dark days are upon me . . . . My wife is now dead.
I look at the future ... . . . . I shudder with dread.
For my young are all rearing .. . . young of their own.
And I think of the years . . . And the love that I've known.
I'm now an old man . . . . . . .. and nature is cruel.
It's jest to make old age . . . . . . . look like a fool.
The body, it crumbles .. .. . grace and vigour, depart.
There is now a stone . . . where I once had a heart.
But inside this old carcass . A young man still dwells,
And now and again . . . . . my battered heart swells
I remember the joys . . . . .. . I remember the pain.
And I'm loving and living . . . . . . . life over again.
I think of the years, all too few . . .. gone too fast.
And accept the stark fact . . . that nothing can last.
So open your eyes, people .. . . . .. . . open and see.
Not a cranky old man .
Look closer . . . . see .. .. . .. .... . ME!!
(originally written by Dave Griffith)
Before I become the Cranky Old Woman that we all know I'll become, I'd like to have some things checked off of my To Do list. Here is my first draft. Please share any items you may have to help me accomplish these objectives. I've tried for too long to do things on my own and one of my new goals is to be open and accepting of other people's help.
Deb's Top 10 To-Do List
1. Sell the house - whatever it takes, get rid of that house because you can't move on until you do.
2. Get passport renewed - because you can't go to new, exotic places until you do this
3. Decide where you want to live - once the house is sold it will be high time to make a final decision on where you really want to spend the rest of your life
4. Double savings - start saving twice what you have in savings so that you can have some money to enjoy life later on. No more excuses!
5. Find a way to give back - do something good for others on a regular basis. Research options and find something you can commit to doing weekly
6. Write the book - stop procrastinating and finish the damn book
7. Make sure that you do at least one thing every day that makes you happy - this seems easy but when you drill down into an average day, it's not so likely that many of us are actually doing this. I am making it mandatory for myself - it's on the list!
8. Decide how you want to be remembered, write it down and refer to it regularly so you stay on track. At work we have visions, goals and objectives and we are held accountable to those. Why not apply that to the rest of our lives?
9. Stop, right now, lamenting the past - it's gone. Said and done. Forget what you don't want to remember, remember what will help you grow and move the hell on
I can check writing the To-Do List off of my list so there's 9 rather than 10.
On the Foodie side, I've recently removed dairy from the diet and started an intense Kickboxing class with my daughter who's home for the summer. It's so good to have someone to work out with and eat with again. When she moves back to LA I'm going to be looking for a new work out and diet buddy so let me know if any of you are interested. It's much easier if you do this with like-minded friends. Here are some quick and easy tips for cutting fat and calories by removing dairy. There are so many substitutes available now that it's not nearly as hard as it used to be.
For any regular recipe you can replace:
Milk - with almond or soy milk. For a sweeter taste try Vanilla soy milk. Avoid Rice milk (I think it's nasty)
Butter - vegan butter or silky tofu. I prefer the vegan butter
Eggs - egg substitue powder
Bacon - smart bacon. It tastes like turkey bacon and has less sodium than Morning Star
Sausage - Fieldshire vegan sausage. You can buy this at Whole Foods and it comes in lots of different flavors, all surprisingly delicious
Cheese - there are several decent vegan cheeses out there. Avoid Rice cheese (see above comment about Rice milk - same goes for cheese). Or you can use the silky tofu crumbles.
Meet - Tempeh - it's better than tofu and doesn't have a bad effect on your tummy like soy can sometimes have. It's great in stir fry especially if you marinade it in soy sauce, bbq sauce or wine.
You can start by trying to remove dairy from one meal a day. Even if it's not your thing, it will be a fun way to experiment with some different kinds of food. Enjoy!
"What are you going to do with the rest of your life?"
When an old man died in the geriatric ward of a nursing home in an Australian country town, it was believed that he had nothing left of any value.
Later, when the nurses were going through his meagre possessions, They found this poem. Its quality and content so impressed the staff that copies were made and distributed to every nurse in the hospital.
One nurse took her copy to Melbourne. The old man's sole bequest to posterity has since appeared in the Christmas editions of magazines around the country and appearing in mags for Mental Health. A slide presentation has also been made based on his simple, but eloquent, poem.
And this old man, with nothing left to give to the world, is now the author of this 'anonymous' poem winging across the Internet.
Cranky Old Man
What do you see nurses? . . .. . .What do you see?
What are you thinking .. . when you're looking at me?
A cranky old man, . . . . . .not very wise,
Uncertain of habit .. . . . . . . .. with faraway eyes?
Who dribbles his food .. . ... . . and makes no reply.
When you say in a loud voice . .'I do wish you'd try!'
Who seems not to notice . . .the things that you do.
And forever is losing . . . . . .. . . A sock or shoe?
Who, resisting or not . . . ... lets you do as you will,
With bathing and feeding . . . .The long day to fill?
Is that what you're thinking?. .Is that what you see?
Then open your eyes, nurse .you're not looking at me.
I'll tell you who I am . . . . .. As I sit here so still,
As I do at your bidding, .. . . . as I eat at your will.
I'm a small child of Ten . .with a father and mother,
Brothers and sisters .. . . .. . who love one another
A young boy of Sixteen . . . .. with wings on his feet
Dreaming that soon now . . .. . . a lover he'll meet.
A groom soon at Twenty . . . ..my heart gives a leap.
Remembering, the vows .. .. .that I promised to keep.
At Twenty-Five, now . . . . .I have young of my own.
Who need me to guide . . . And a secure happy home.
A man of Thirty . .. . . . . My young now grown fast,
Bound to each other . . .. With ties that should last.
At Forty, my young sons .. .have grown and are gone,
But my woman is beside me . . to see I don't mourn.
At Fifty, once more, .. ...Babies play 'round my knee,
Again, we know children . . . . My loved one and me.
Dark days are upon me . . . . My wife is now dead.
I look at the future ... . . . . I shudder with dread.
For my young are all rearing .. . . young of their own.
And I think of the years . . . And the love that I've known.
I'm now an old man . . . . . . .. and nature is cruel.
It's jest to make old age . . . . . . . look like a fool.
The body, it crumbles .. .. . grace and vigour, depart.
There is now a stone . . . where I once had a heart.
But inside this old carcass . A young man still dwells,
And now and again . . . . . my battered heart swells
I remember the joys . . . . .. . I remember the pain.
And I'm loving and living . . . . . . . life over again.
I think of the years, all too few . . .. gone too fast.
And accept the stark fact . . . that nothing can last.
So open your eyes, people .. . . . .. . . open and see.
Not a cranky old man .
Look closer . . . . see .. .. . .. .... . ME!!
(originally written by Dave Griffith)
Before I become the Cranky Old Woman that we all know I'll become, I'd like to have some things checked off of my To Do list. Here is my first draft. Please share any items you may have to help me accomplish these objectives. I've tried for too long to do things on my own and one of my new goals is to be open and accepting of other people's help.
Deb's Top 10 To-Do List
1. Sell the house - whatever it takes, get rid of that house because you can't move on until you do.
2. Get passport renewed - because you can't go to new, exotic places until you do this
3. Decide where you want to live - once the house is sold it will be high time to make a final decision on where you really want to spend the rest of your life
4. Double savings - start saving twice what you have in savings so that you can have some money to enjoy life later on. No more excuses!
5. Find a way to give back - do something good for others on a regular basis. Research options and find something you can commit to doing weekly
6. Write the book - stop procrastinating and finish the damn book
7. Make sure that you do at least one thing every day that makes you happy - this seems easy but when you drill down into an average day, it's not so likely that many of us are actually doing this. I am making it mandatory for myself - it's on the list!
8. Decide how you want to be remembered, write it down and refer to it regularly so you stay on track. At work we have visions, goals and objectives and we are held accountable to those. Why not apply that to the rest of our lives?
9. Stop, right now, lamenting the past - it's gone. Said and done. Forget what you don't want to remember, remember what will help you grow and move the hell on
I can check writing the To-Do List off of my list so there's 9 rather than 10.
For any regular recipe you can replace:
Milk - with almond or soy milk. For a sweeter taste try Vanilla soy milk. Avoid Rice milk (I think it's nasty)
Butter - vegan butter or silky tofu. I prefer the vegan butter
Eggs - egg substitue powder
Bacon - smart bacon. It tastes like turkey bacon and has less sodium than Morning Star
Sausage - Fieldshire vegan sausage. You can buy this at Whole Foods and it comes in lots of different flavors, all surprisingly delicious
Cheese - there are several decent vegan cheeses out there. Avoid Rice cheese (see above comment about Rice milk - same goes for cheese). Or you can use the silky tofu crumbles.
Meet - Tempeh - it's better than tofu and doesn't have a bad effect on your tummy like soy can sometimes have. It's great in stir fry especially if you marinade it in soy sauce, bbq sauce or wine.
You can start by trying to remove dairy from one meal a day. Even if it's not your thing, it will be a fun way to experiment with some different kinds of food. Enjoy!
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