As I look around my friend and family groups I am observing a lot of change taking place in many people's lives right now. Work, moves, new relationships, old relationships ending, diet and fitness changes, you name it. With all of this transition comes a certain amount of stress in addition to excitement, hopefulness and anxiety. At what point does positive change turn into emotional breakdown? That's the topic for today's blog.
Work Change - let's start here because there seems to be an enormous amount of transition in the work force right now. Not just people moving jobs but also change within existing work environments. My office, for example, is going through a complete space redesign. We are moving away from offices and cubes to an open work environment where everyone, regardless of level or job function, shares one big open area, 4 people to a work station - no walls, no doors, no privacy. This is designed to foster a more collaborative and innovative work environment but will it? Or will it simply result in less productivity? We'll see. Meanwhile it is causing a certain amount of anxiousness among the team members. It's a fairly big change. Add with that reorgs, job reassignments, new vendors and an uncertainty about the future state and many folks are pretty stressed out. The cool thing though is that it will be new and different and therefore you may have an opportunity to redine yourself and your role. That is what makes work fun for me so I'm looking at it as a way to add some spice to my work life. You all know that I get bored easily so for me it's a way to get out of a stale routine.
Several of my friends are down-sizing their careers. Some due to retirement, others have been laid off, some just because they no longer want to be a part of the "corporate ladder" climb. Regardless the reason, this move requires a lifestyle change for the entire family. Less money = less amenities. Many of them are looking for alternatives to traditional family recreation. Movie night may, for instance, turn into Netflix and mircrowave popcorn rather than the $50 + night out for a family of 4. Amusement park days costing as much as $200 for a family can become a day hike to Hump Back Rock or the Pipeline, both free. Family vacations that used to include airfare, fancy hotel suites and dinners out have become cabin rentals in the Blue Ridge Mountains with outdoor fire pits for roasting hot dogs and marsh mellows. The alternatives are just as fun and a lot less expensive and stressful than traditional options. I for one am digging this trend. You avoid long lines, stressful travel arrangements, and get more quality time doing the fun stuff. But making a work change from say running a team of 10 to being a part time sales person or bagging groceries, etc. can be hard for your friends to handle. They may pity you or judge you, think you're lazy, lack ambition or any number of other negative reactions. Truth is they may just be jealous of your new laid back life. Or they just may not have gotten to the stressful place you were in that caused your change of mind set. No worries, they will get there sooner or later, either by choice or by chance.
Location Change - I have seen a lot of my friends move recently. My daughter moved back to Richmond leaving New York, it's amazing food, comedy scene, most of her friends behind. Her choice was both a financial and lifestyle one. The cost of living, well you know, is out of control in New York. A 6th floor walk up cost more than my 3 bedroom townhouse. And the pace of life is just, well, vastly faster than it is here in RVA. For her, it was a tough decision and may not be a permanent one. But the change has allowed her to "down size" her stress level. She's getting more acting gigs here, living in Jackson Ward which is kind of like living in Brooklyn (?) in that you can walk to some amazing restaurants and bars like Rappahannock Oyster Bar, Saison and Saison Market, Max's, Momma's, Tarrent's, the list goes on and on. And she has a better chance of being able to some day open up her vintage store. Another friend just moved back from Seattle where he had a highly paid but super stressful job with Amazon and an overpriced apartment. He was able to buy a really cool condo in Scott's Edition and got a great job with less stress at Capital One. One of my girl friends moved to North Caroline to be with the "love of her life" who she met when they were both in their mid forties. That's an intense change of lifestyle and I'm sure has its share of ups and downs, but how freaking cool that they met each other and can enjoy this part of their lives together? My Mom recently left her big farm house and moved into a one bedroom cottage three cities away from where she had spent her entire life. Now that's change. It did decrease her financial stress but that kind of change is anything but easy. I know because I did that move about 4 years ago. It was more intense than I had imagined and it has taken me a while to really appreciate the new life described best as "less".
Health Change - I think the hardest change of all is that brought on by health issues. A few of my friends are no longer able to maintain the level of fitness and exercise that they are used to due to injury, aging bones or heart conditions. When your brain still wants to do everything you used to do and your body simply says "nope" that's some tough change to deal with. There are work arounds, however. Say you are used to running 5 miles a day and you have a knee that has decided it won't allow you to do that anymore. There are many things you still may be able to do like hike, walk, play golf, do cross fit, etc. It doesn't mean you have to STOP exercising it just may mean you have to find another way of doing it. And a low fat or low sodium diet doesn't mean you have to stop eating out - it just means you have to make different choices when you order.
Whatever the CHANGE you happen to be faced with keep in mind that you and only you are in control of how you handle it. Face the change head on and decide that you are going to make the most out of it. You can turn negative stress into positive adventure just by making a decision to embrace the new and putting the old to the side.
Several of my friends are down-sizing their careers. Some due to retirement, others have been laid off, some just because they no longer want to be a part of the "corporate ladder" climb. Regardless the reason, this move requires a lifestyle change for the entire family. Less money = less amenities. Many of them are looking for alternatives to traditional family recreation. Movie night may, for instance, turn into Netflix and mircrowave popcorn rather than the $50 + night out for a family of 4. Amusement park days costing as much as $200 for a family can become a day hike to Hump Back Rock or the Pipeline, both free. Family vacations that used to include airfare, fancy hotel suites and dinners out have become cabin rentals in the Blue Ridge Mountains with outdoor fire pits for roasting hot dogs and marsh mellows. The alternatives are just as fun and a lot less expensive and stressful than traditional options. I for one am digging this trend. You avoid long lines, stressful travel arrangements, and get more quality time doing the fun stuff. But making a work change from say running a team of 10 to being a part time sales person or bagging groceries, etc. can be hard for your friends to handle. They may pity you or judge you, think you're lazy, lack ambition or any number of other negative reactions. Truth is they may just be jealous of your new laid back life. Or they just may not have gotten to the stressful place you were in that caused your change of mind set. No worries, they will get there sooner or later, either by choice or by chance.
Location Change - I have seen a lot of my friends move recently. My daughter moved back to Richmond leaving New York, it's amazing food, comedy scene, most of her friends behind. Her choice was both a financial and lifestyle one. The cost of living, well you know, is out of control in New York. A 6th floor walk up cost more than my 3 bedroom townhouse. And the pace of life is just, well, vastly faster than it is here in RVA. For her, it was a tough decision and may not be a permanent one. But the change has allowed her to "down size" her stress level. She's getting more acting gigs here, living in Jackson Ward which is kind of like living in Brooklyn (?) in that you can walk to some amazing restaurants and bars like Rappahannock Oyster Bar, Saison and Saison Market, Max's, Momma's, Tarrent's, the list goes on and on. And she has a better chance of being able to some day open up her vintage store. Another friend just moved back from Seattle where he had a highly paid but super stressful job with Amazon and an overpriced apartment. He was able to buy a really cool condo in Scott's Edition and got a great job with less stress at Capital One. One of my girl friends moved to North Caroline to be with the "love of her life" who she met when they were both in their mid forties. That's an intense change of lifestyle and I'm sure has its share of ups and downs, but how freaking cool that they met each other and can enjoy this part of their lives together? My Mom recently left her big farm house and moved into a one bedroom cottage three cities away from where she had spent her entire life. Now that's change. It did decrease her financial stress but that kind of change is anything but easy. I know because I did that move about 4 years ago. It was more intense than I had imagined and it has taken me a while to really appreciate the new life described best as "less".
Health Change - I think the hardest change of all is that brought on by health issues. A few of my friends are no longer able to maintain the level of fitness and exercise that they are used to due to injury, aging bones or heart conditions. When your brain still wants to do everything you used to do and your body simply says "nope" that's some tough change to deal with. There are work arounds, however. Say you are used to running 5 miles a day and you have a knee that has decided it won't allow you to do that anymore. There are many things you still may be able to do like hike, walk, play golf, do cross fit, etc. It doesn't mean you have to STOP exercising it just may mean you have to find another way of doing it. And a low fat or low sodium diet doesn't mean you have to stop eating out - it just means you have to make different choices when you order.
Whatever the CHANGE you happen to be faced with keep in mind that you and only you are in control of how you handle it. Face the change head on and decide that you are going to make the most out of it. You can turn negative stress into positive adventure just by making a decision to embrace the new and putting the old to the side.
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